09-17-2006, 20:38
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
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Lawyers
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.
Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "South Carolina."
"Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
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NousDefionsDoc is offline
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09-18-2006, 01:12
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#2
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,845
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RAOTMFFLMGDLAO!
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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09-18-2006, 10:30
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#3
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,207
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Roguish Lawyer
RAOTMFFLMGDLAO!
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Ditto...I think. 
Pat
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PSM is offline
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09-18-2006, 11:01
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Roguish Lawyer
RAOTMFFLMGDLAO!
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Geez RL - did you hit the keyboard while you were in a seizure, or what?
BTW- Do you know the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a scum sucking, bottom dwelling, carrion eating member of the shark family..... the other one's a fish.
Present company excluded, of course.
edited for clarity and understanding 19092006 14:39: I think I have actually deciphered our esteemed counsel's 'net shorthand, and, if I'm not too far off the mark - actually means lawyer with the last 'L' in this acronym. But once again, counsel, wash your mouth out with soap, this is a family board.
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
Last edited by x SF med; 09-19-2006 at 12:36.
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x SF med is offline
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09-18-2006, 11:26
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Delaware
Posts: 1,425
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Ok I married a lawyer so now I am curious; does that make me a shark hunter or shark bait? I suppose that depends upon my marriage status!
__________________
You ask; What is our policy? I will say; “It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy.” You ask; What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory—victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.-Winston Churchill
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Goggles Pizano is offline
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09-18-2006, 13:14
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#6
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Goggles Pizano
Ok I married a lawyer so now I am curious; does that make me a shark hunter or shark bait? I suppose that depends upon my marriage status! |
Goggles - the answer is...... yes
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
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x SF med is offline
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09-18-2006, 18:59
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#7
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 4,548
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Goggles Pizano
Ok I married a lawyer so now I am curious; does that make me a shark hunter or shark bait?
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You're a remora; enjoy whatever scraps you can find. 
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Razor is offline
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09-19-2006, 10:49
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#8
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Delaware
Posts: 1,425
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Razor
You're a remora; enjoy whatever scraps you can find. |
__________________
You ask; What is our policy? I will say; “It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy.” You ask; What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory—victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.-Winston Churchill
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Goggles Pizano is offline
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09-19-2006, 12:17
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#9
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Clarksville, TN
Posts: 1,164
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Now that's funny. I don't care who you are .. that's funny.
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CSB is offline
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09-19-2006, 13:33
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Central TX
Posts: 1,390
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by x_sf_med
Geez RL - did you hit the keyboard while you were in a seizure, or what?
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XSFMedic:He's Channeling Guy again, couldn't be helped
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Air.177 is offline
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09-19-2006, 14:09
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
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Air-
I know - I'm trying to increase his professional decorum - I thought lawyers only ripped like that in private - the old 'imperturbable facade' in public.
Plus he combo'd up on the letters and put them in really odd places, odd that he's channeling live people, dontcha think?
Is there any way I could get you to run to Kincaid's on Camp Bowie and have burger for me, with the Frog Fries if they still make them.... I'm jonesing for one of their burgers.
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
Last edited by x SF med; 09-19-2006 at 14:11.
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x SF med is offline
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09-19-2006, 14:53
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Pinehurst,NC
Posts: 1,091
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What's the difference between dead lawyer in the road and a dead rabbit? The rabbit has skid marks in front of it.
__________________
Let us conduct ourselves in such a fashion that all nations wish to be our friends and all fear to be our enemies. The Virtues of War - Steven Pressfield
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dennisw is offline
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09-19-2006, 15:28
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#13
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Central TX
Posts: 1,390
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by x_sf_med
Air-
I know - I'm trying to increase his professional decorum - I thought lawyers only ripped like that in private - the old 'imperturbable facade' in public.
Plus he combo'd up on the letters and put them in really odd places, odd that he's channeling live people, dontcha think?
Is there any way I could get you to run to Kincaid's on Camp Bowie and have burger for me, with the Frog Fries if they still make them.... I'm jonesing for one of their burgers.
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Sir,
That's a thankless task.
Not the slightest bit odd, Guy is obviously using Jedi Mind tricks to speak through the Lawyer in question. Has to be Guy, His MF'n Speech patterns are distinctive, I shit you Not!
Kincaid's just branched out and opened a store in Southlake. I try to get by there occasionally, I'll keep you in mind next time.
Good times,
blake
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Air.177 is offline
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09-19-2006, 17:41
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#14
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,845
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by x_sf_med
I think I have actually deciphered our esteemed counsel's 'net shorthand, and, if I'm not too far off the mark - actually means lawyer with the last 'L' in this acronym.
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Nothing gets by a recon man!
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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09-19-2006, 17:51
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#15
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Roguish Lawyer
Nothing gets by a recon man! |
Hey Bud. A recon man, damn, I always wanted to be the Repo Man, well, them's the breaks. Have you sent the joke to your colleagues? How about the managing partner? hehehehehe
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
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x SF med is offline
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