•Bill and Hillary Clinton were seated on the front row during Ronald Reagan's funeral when television cameras caught them nodding off to sleep during one of the eulogies. No one could believe it. It's been years since they slept together (Argus Hamilton)•
•Experts say that Bill Clinton's book could raise 100 million dollars.
Hillary wants to burn it, George Bush wants to color it and John Kerry wants to marry it. (Craig Kilborn)•
•Man and woman looking at portraits of the Clintons. Man: “That’s
weird, Hillary Clinton wearing pants.” Woman: “That’s weird, Bill
Clinton wearing pants.” (Steve Kelley, The New Orleans
Times-Picayune)•
•Two women passing the White House portraits of President and Mrs. Clinton: "It's interesting how his eyes seem to follow you." "And hers seem to look the other way." (Mike Keefe, The Denver Post) •
•Hillary Clinton raised a fortune for Arizona Democrats Thursday night. She's simply unbelievable. No one believed her four years ago when she said she loved her husband and no one believes her today when she says she hopes John Kerry wins. (Argus Hamilton)•
•"Bill Clinton's new memoir has already had orders for 1.5 million
copies. In fact, it's already in its third printing. The first two were
stained." (David Letterman)•
•Bill Clinton's official portrait was unveiled at the White House
yesterday. Don't kid yourself, there's already trouble. Yesterday,
Clinton's portrait was caught hitting on Dolly Madison's portrait.
(David Letterman)•
•Bill Clinton was on "Oprah" talking about the book. I guess tomorrow he's on Maury Povich doing one of those paternity test shows. In two days he's been on "60 Minutes," he's been on "Oprah," tomorrow he's on "Larry King." The only thing he hasn't been on lately is Hillary. (Jay Leno)•
•The $10 million Clinton is getting for his book beats the old record of $8.5 million paid to the Pope. How do you think this makes the Pope feel? The man dedicates his life to the 10 Commandments, he gets 8.5. Clinton breaks every one of them, he gets 10. (Jay Leno)•
•Bill Clinton’s new book is out Monday. After 8 years in the White
House, he only regrets what he didn’t do. Peace in the Middle East and the West Wing receptionist. (Alan Ray)•
•Bill Clinton talks about his infidelity on '60 Minutes' this Sunday.
Is that enough time? Shouldn't it be '48 Hours? (Jay Leno)•
•TV: "We'll return to Bill Clinton's confessions of personal
irresponsibility and sexual compulsion after these messages from
Levitra and Cialis." (Tony Auth, The Philadelphia Inquirer)•
•The New York Times reports that the Bill Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock will have a glass-walled apartment on the roof for his use. He plans to give many of the guided tours personally. The replica of his Oval Office study will be a petting zoo. (Argus Hamilton)•
•Bill Clinton told "60 Minutes" he never could have won the presidency without marrying Hillary... something John Kerry can't understand because he's absolutely sure Hillary doesn't have $500 million. (Jake Novak)•
•Bill Clinton said in an interview that will air on a '60 Minutes' on
Sunday that he had an affair with Monica Lewinsky because he could and that he was with Paula Jones because he lost a bet. (Jay Leno)•
•The publisher called him in and handed former President Clinton the first official copy of his new book. From force of habit he helped it out of its jacket. (David Letterman)•
•Bill Clinton claims he had to sleep on the couch for three months
after telling Hillary about Monica Lewinsky. Does anyone believe this? I mean seriously the guy can send an aircraft carrier to any part of the globe, but they can't find him a cot for two months. (Jimmy Kimmel)•
•Clinton also told Dan Rather that his infidelity almost ruined his
marriage and that he and Hillary received counseling. Now wasn't Bill Clinton's counselor Jesse Jackson? I think I see part of the problem right there. (Jay Leno)•
•It's actually longer than the new Harry Potter book. And both of them, I believe, are about a boy and his wand. (David Letterman, on Clinton's book)•
•Dan Rather compared Bill Clinton's life story to the memoirs of
Ulysses S. Grant. Ulysses S. Grant? I think Hugh Grant would be more like it, wouldn't it? (Jay Leno)•
•Dan Rather says that after the scandal broke Clinton met regularly with three ministers. Three. That's when a guy knows he's sinned a lot. When the first minister is going, "I need back up." (Jay Leno)•
•Bill Clinton is everywhere now promoting his new book. I believe the last time Clinton did a media blitz like this it was to deny everything that's in this book. (David Letterman)•
•Bill Clinton's book went on sale today at long last. Earlier today
hundreds of people waited outside of Barnes and Noble in the pouring rain for a chance to meet Bill Clinton. When asked if she minded the rain, one woman said, 'I'm meeting Bill Clinton. I just assumed my dress would get ruined.'" (Conan O'Brien)•
•I just read Bill Clinton's book. Hundreds of affairs, thousands of
lies, lawsuits, subpoenas and then I got to page two. (Craig Kilborn)•
•Clinton had been calling up friends and reading them passages of his autobiography before it was printed. Friends say every chapter begins, "There once was a gal from Nantucket," (Conan O’Brien)•
•How many of you folks purchased a copy of 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. It was in the book stores yesterday and it was a great day for Bill. The first day out he sold 1,500 books and he got 6 phone numbers. (David Letterman)•
•Bill Clinton began his book tour with a speech to a publishers
convention in Chicago Thursday. The audience lapped up every word. He told them that his book is not about settling old scores, nevertheless the forward was written by Wilt Chamberlain. (Argus Hamilton)•
•Bill Clinton showed off his suntan and slimmed-down physique at a publishers convention in Chicago on Thursday. He just passed his annual physical exam with his usual ease. After two hours in the doctor's office he took a turn for the nurse. (Argus Hamilton)•
•The New York Post Says Bill Clinton is shopping for an apartment in town for weeknights. He's too hoarse to comment. For hours last night he practiced telling Hillary that cutting out his one-hour commute reduces our dependence on foreign oil. (Argus Hamilton)•
Linear Mode
