RL's Sig line inspired Simpson's humor

Sacamuelas · 04-08-2004, 15:04

For the appreciation of "Hank Hill" Harsey Jr.,
here are a few things Bart Simpson has had to write on the chalkboard as punishment along with a few personalized ones thrown in for RL based on his last day on AProfSoldier.....

I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not disobey the Team Sergeant
I will not prescribe medication.
Sticks are for hitting people not thread titles
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
I will not tell boring stories about lawyer meetings
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
No one is interested in my underpants.
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not be a 'stick-head' anymore
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
I will never win an emmy.
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
I am not deliciously saucy.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.

**Roguish Lawyer** · 04-08-2004, 15:24

Nice.

Sacamuelas · 04-08-2004, 15:28

Everytime I read the Sig you made... I can't help but envision Bart Simpson writing some quirky phrase over and over again.

Air.177 · 04-09-2004, 15:32

I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Invoke the Team Sergeant's Rath
I Will Not Admit cooking with Fish Sauce
I Will Not Antagonize NDD
I Will Not...Ah Who the Hell Am I kidding

Solid · 04-09-2004, 17:14

I will use spell check.
I will use spell check.
I will use spell check.
I will use spell check.
I will use spell check.

Juuust kidding.

Solid

**Roguish Lawyer** · 04-09-2004, 18:04

Quote:

Originally posted by Air.177

I Will Not Admit cooking with Fish Sauce

Interesting distinction you draw, Air. Sounds like you're not sorry and you still don't think what you did to that poor steak was wrong.

**Bill Harsey** · 04-09-2004, 19:55

Molar Mechanic, Sir!, Very good list of very funny things. The Simpsons town of "Springfield" is based upon Springfield Oregon, just 10 miles up the road from here (I can see guys now adjustments to artillery coordinates) I like Springfield but the author of the Simpsons found it, uh, gross and ugly because people still do work there and make stuff. I guess he hasn't been exposed to where all his "stuff" comes from. I'll print out the list and post in shop for further study.

**Bill Harsey** · 04-09-2004, 20:00

Straight up 7 pm, my educational TV theme song is playing, The SIMPSONS!!! See ya.

**Roguish Lawyer** · 04-10-2004, 03:05

Quote:

Originally posted by Bill Harsey
Straight up 7 pm, my educational TV theme song is playing, The SIMPSONS!!! See ya.

**Bill Harsey** · 04-10-2004, 08:24

That's my shop safety hero!