11-27-2004, 06:41
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,093
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Idiot Hunter
The VA set up my hospital bed next to the window in my living room so I could look out the window up into the woods. So there I was yesterday sitting up doing some isometrics when two spike horn white tails came wandering by about 35 feet from the house. About 30 minutes later some idiot, not wearing any protective coloration at all came sneaking close to the house walking in the opposite direction backtracking in the general direction from which the deer had come. He was sort of doing the Alabama high step which made it look more like he was trying not to step in deer droppings rather than attempting to quietly stalk his prey. This clown was really swift, burning cigarette, walking down wind from the direction the deer had come and rifle barrel sort of pointed at his leading foot. What really pissed me off is that there is a law in this state that you are not allowed to discharge a weapon within 400 feet of a residence and he was obviously oblivious to the fact that he was only about 50 feet from my home. So I hauled my sorry, broken butt out of the bed, grabbed the walker, got into the wheel chair and grabbed a couple of cooking pots and heading for the back porch. I got the door open and as far out through the doorway as I could and started banging the pots together and in my payday formation gentle voice told him to "Get the f... off my property." Had I been able to get to my pistol I would have put a few rounds up into woods. My hope was that he would be startled enough to shoot himself in the foot, however he just sort of disappeared over the ledge-perhaps the lad fell on his head.
Jack Moroney
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Wenn einer von uns fallen sollt, der Andere steht für zwei.
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Jack Moroney (RIP) is offline
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11-27-2004, 08:45
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#2
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,827
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Sir:
You are laid up and don't have a weapon handy in case you need to repel boarders/outlaws?
TR
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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11-27-2004, 10:36
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#3
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,841
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Get well soon!
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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11-27-2004, 11:25
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,093
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
Sir:
You are laid up and don't have a weapon handy in case you need to repel boarders/outlaws?
TR
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I do, but the recoil will send me in high speed retrograde if I forget to lock to stupid tires on the wheel chair. I didn't have the thing handy yesterday, but today it is drapped over my wheel chair handles, magazine in, round chambered and safety on. I also have ready access to my JuJu stick and seeing as I was made a paramount chief of the Kru, Mandingo, Bassa and Khran tribes I should be able to whip up a spell or two to drive the invaders from the AO. Of course, I'm not really counting on it as their Zoes healing process for broken legs was to break the leg of a chicken with the caveat that once the chicken was better the tribal members leg would also get better. Of course, because the one legged chicken can't avoid mambas very well, no one ever really found out if the spell really worked. 
Jack Moroney
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Wenn einer von uns fallen sollt, der Andere steht für zwei.
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Jack Moroney (RIP) is offline
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11-27-2004, 12:33
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#5
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Guest
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Sir Jack!
Clearly you need me with my HK 93A1 to take point! (is that how you say it?)
I could use the hospital bed as a bench rest!
Or, if more mobility is needed in repelling boarders, I could keep a couple P7M13s on me & mag spares for over 100 rounds of 9mm !!
Now I just need to be independently wealthy so I could offer my protective services at whim. 
One Halloween in high school my bf on the swim team and I went as Tarzan and Jane and rigged up a rope thing across a tree outside and a ladder to the side of the tree to scare people with who were walking up towards the door by swinging near them. Needed a better geometry for a really big swing, but it was total fun. Anyway, as this relates to your place in the woods, we could have a similar setup in case they look like I could take 'em by choking them out with a leg lock  .
Hey, this sounds like a great studio for Mr. Harsey's idea for his new Reality TV show! roflmao!
FrontSight
Last edited by alphamale; 11-27-2004 at 12:35.
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11-27-2004, 16:59
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#6
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 266
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Just let Jack borrow your killer possum for a couple weeks.
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"Excretion is the bitter part of valor."
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Jo Sul is offline
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11-27-2004, 17:23
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#7
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,827
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Every time I read this thread's title, I think of Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter".
Your own show, Sir!
Jack Moroney, "Idiot Hunter"!
TR
__________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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11-27-2004, 17:33
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#8
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,093
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
Every time I read this thread's title, I think of Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter".
Your own show, Sir!
Jack Moroney, "Idiot Hunter"!
TR
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No sport in that up here, it is a target rich environment.
Jack Moroney
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Wenn einer von uns fallen sollt, der Andere steht für zwei.
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Jack Moroney (RIP) is offline
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11-27-2004, 17:48
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#9
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: DFW Texas Area
Posts: 4,741
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Paintball Gun !!!
That is what you need !! Mark the bastard with indelible ink/paint and let the Law deal with him !!!
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Martin sends.
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Ambush Master is offline
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11-27-2004, 18:09
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,093
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Paint ball gun sounds like a great idea, but remember this is frigging Vermont. I had a neighbor nail a maurading cat to prove that it was raiding his bird feeders and they fined him for cruelty to animals. You can go anywhere up here with a concealed hand gun but don't get caught with a loaded rifle or shotgun in your vehicle. Knowing my luck, I'd nail this sucker and not only would I get fined for assault, but I would have to pay to get his nasty clothes cleaned, be fined for environmental polution because the paint was not biodegradable, and be forced to take a paintball safety course. This is the place where the news starts off with, "Good evening, nothing happened again last nite" so when something this "radical" happens it makes big headlines and you wind up getting every frigging group with a cause demonstrating against what would have otherwise been a non-event. I can see it now we would have "Hunters against protective coloration", "Folks against paintballs", Folks against indeliable paint", Folks for Tresspassing", "Folks for Idiots", etc. If there is a cause somewhere in the left agenda they have a headquarters or a cell in this state. Damn, on 4 Dec we have a World Peace Rally in this town, we have the "Women in Black" that protest most of the year, and that just scratches the surface. I do love the country side and my portion of the great northern forest and I continually find myself laughing at what goes on around me. But then, how can you take a state that votes repeatedly for Bernie Sanders, Pat Leahy, and Jim Jeffords seriously.
Jack Moroney
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Wenn einer von uns fallen sollt, der Andere steht für zwei.
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Jack Moroney (RIP) is offline
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11-27-2004, 18:32
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: DFW Texas Area
Posts: 4,741
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Maybe what is needed here are a few "Sympathetic Insurgents" for your cause!!!
Uh, sir, I have no idea who they were, they stormed through here, painted those guys up real good, and left !!!
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Martin sends.
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Ambush Master is offline
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11-27-2004, 19:48
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#12
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Bladesmith to the Quiet Professionals
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Oregon, Land of the Silver Grey Sunsets
Posts: 3,886
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jack Moroney
Paint ball gun sounds like a great idea, but remember this is frigging Vermont. I had a neighbor nail a maurading cat to prove that it was raiding his bird feeders and they fined him for cruelty to animals. You can go anywhere up here with a concealed hand gun but don't get caught with a loaded rifle or shotgun in your vehicle. Knowing my luck, I'd nail this sucker and not only would I get fined for assault, but I would have to pay to get his nasty clothes cleaned, be fined for environmental polution because the paint was not biodegradable, and be forced to take a paintball safety course. This is the place where the news starts off with, "Good evening, nothing happened again last nite" so when something this "radical" happens it makes big headlines and you wind up getting every frigging group with a cause demonstrating against what would have otherwise been a non-event. I can see it now we would have "Hunters against protective coloration", "Folks against paintballs", Folks against indeliable paint", Folks for Tresspassing", "Folks for Idiots", etc. If there is a cause somewhere in the left agenda they have a headquarters or a cell in this state. Damn, on 4 Dec we have a World Peace Rally in this town, we have the "Women in Black" that protest most of the year, and that just scratches the surface. I do love the country side and my portion of the great northern forest and I continually find myself laughing at what goes on around me. But then, how can you take a state that votes repeatedly for Bernie Sanders, Pat Leahy, and Jim Jeffords seriously.
Jack Moroney
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ok, I'm starting to quit laughing so hard I can type now.
My goodness Jack, These people could really use your organizational skills and experience. Think of all the good you could do.
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Bill Harsey is offline
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11-27-2004, 19:54
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#13
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: DFW Texas Area
Posts: 4,741
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bill Harsey
ok, I'm starting to quit laughing so hard I can type now.
My goodness Jack, These people could really use your organizational skills and experience. Think of all the good you could do.
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But first the INSURGENTS !!! Get their attention !!!
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Martin sends.
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Ambush Master is offline
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11-27-2004, 19:56
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#14
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Bladesmith to the Quiet Professionals
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Oregon, Land of the Silver Grey Sunsets
Posts: 3,886
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ambush Master
But first the INSURGENTS !!! Get their attention !!! |
Of course the insurgents! His helping the other side is his cover and our intel op.
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Bill Harsey is offline
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11-27-2004, 20:13
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#15
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Kia ora, bro
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 931
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A bb gun will leave only bruises. And you can say he wandered onto your bb range
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