Getting punched and standing your ground

[echoes]

Originally Posted by Dozer523

This where I stopped reading cuz I'm married and want to stay that way.

You are too funny Sir!

But honestly, it is what was available to me, so I utilized it......

Holly

[echoes]

Originally Posted by Dozer523

This where I stopped reading cuz I'm married and want to stay that way.

Dozer Sir,

And...I am going to get in trouble now so if I reply :-), so....

Okay, back to the topic at hand, "Getting Punched, and standing your ground."

darbs:

"I cannot but agree with you on all points especially in regards to womanizers, can't stand the lot of 'em..."

May I inquire why a male group studies this book/author? What relevence does his book have on the topic originally posted by 1stindoor?

Holly

[Requiem]

Originally Posted by echoes

As a little girl, I loved playing with the Army men set my brother had...and my favorite guy was, Bazooka, b/c he just looked like the coolest guy with the biggest gun.

Gee. Wish I'd known about the Bazooka guy... As a little girl, I played in the dirt with Tonka trucks and the boy next door. The boys always had the most funnest toys. Still do.

Susan

[orion5]

Originally Posted by echoes

As a little girl, I loved playing with the Army men set my brother had...and my favorite guy was, Bazooka, b/c he just looked like the coolest guy with the biggest gun.

Originally Posted by wet dog

My sister had a Barbie doll collection....I later learned the distriction that Barbie sometime has sex - "play house with Ken", dress Ken in Metro-sexual clothes, etc., but she "comes" with GI Joe.

I only had brothers. They thought it was hilarious to brutally disassemble my Barbie Doll when I was very young. I spent my time after that climbing trees (and falling out of them), racing go-karts (and crashing them), and doing highly inappropriate things with little green army men.

Might have worked out better if I'd been left in peace with my Barbie Doll. And GI Joe.

Moving on........

A few comments/observations from 1stID's article.....

Men who have fought know how difficult it is to stand against the crowd and that civilization is fragile and important. A man who has experienced violence knows that, at its core, civilization is an agreement between men to behave well. That agreement can be broken at any moment; it’s part of manhood to be ready when it is. Men who have been in fights know about something that is rarely spoken of without snickering these days: honor. Men who have been in fights know that, on some level, words are just words: At some point, words must be backed up by deeds.

1) Grew up in a third world country. As a young female child, I saw daily (or constantly) corruption, violence, death, unfairness, slums, poverty, etc. I do not believe that knowing "at its core, civilization is an agreement between men to behave well" is a gender-specific realization.

2) "Men who have been in fights know about...honor." I love the principle of honor, as we Americans define it, but some of the fights I saw were merely about survival and desperation and protecting your rice bowl, not honor. As I read it, the author seems to feel fighting breeds a sense of honor.

3) I concur with most of the women who've already weighed in....I may be self-sufficient and independent, but I love a man that can make me feel safe and protected and valued, which can come from the most simplistic of actions and reassurances on his part, and my belief that he would go into hell itself to back it up.

Thought-provoking article, 1stId!

[GratefulCitizen]

What I took from the article:
Men who've been tested by violence understand the importance of decisiveness.

Specifically, they understand that you have to be decisive, act, and fully commit when the outcome is uncertain.
Too often today, people want their outcomes guaranteed for them.

The only guarantees in life are death and taxes.
It's up to each of us to make our own guarantees.

Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" comes to mind.

[1stindoor]

Originally Posted by GratefulCitizen

What I took from the article:
Men who've been tested by violence understand the importance of decisiveness.

Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" comes to mind.

Nice addition to the discussion.

...who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

It has begun.

[Gypsy]

Originally Posted by orion5

Might have worked out better if I'd been left in peace with my Barbie Doll. And GI Joe.

Yay, GI Joe!

[mark46th]

"I think the men agreed to behave themselves and build civilizations because they liked the women, and women like nice things." Abrazadereas

Exactly. A man will do anything if he thinks it's foreplay...

[Streck-Fu]

A good read and well done.

The only part I could disagree with is the moral character comment as I think women are little different from men in the moral character department.

We know that women are not the same as men: not physically, mentally, or in terms of moral character.

[Flagg]

This one hits close to home for me as dad to two young boys.

Both had been on the wrong side of bullies at school.

I reckon their action(or lack of it) was due to what I learned on a cold/wet/hungry/tired course.

I think they simply lacked a point of reference in a nebulous environment.

Without prior preparation, poor performance is almost guaranteed.

Anxiety and inaction caused by fear of the unknown.

So I swapped them out of paid karate instruction and into wrestling/grappling with some boxing with each other, run by me, where they got their first taste of metallic from a brother's punch to the face with the gloves on...a reference point....and another reference point knowing NOW they can take a hit, that they KNOW violence and are comfortable with it if it visits them and not fear it, but beat it.

Then pushing their physical boundaries...tired? good....keep going. Can't go any further? yeah you can.....keep going...don't quit.

OK that's enough, we're done......tired? Good job.....OK, last one. Good work.

No more bully problem.

The proudest day of being a dad for me was when my boys came home and told me how they helped some of the weaker kids at school getting dealt to by the same bullies....

And another reference point, a first taste of being the good guy in an "epic battle".

And that's what I think it comes down to in my belief system.......mentally healthy men don't want to be violent, they want to be dangerous.

I think physically and mentally healthy men want to be tested in epic battles(literal or figurative) through life.

This androgynous apathy where controlled aggression and bold leadership have been declared thought crimes and replaced with the inertia of progressive consensus is a road to individual and societal ruin.

Take a couple of you fellas on this forum and round up any 100 random apathetic hipsters in the country and give them 3 months of life skills and aggressive resilience training and a good chunk of them will respond.

Assembly line cult deprogramming.

Our base instincts are intact, to say they've genetically evaporated in a single lifetime is silly.

It's the sh!t that's plasticuffed our base instincts is what needs to be lit on fire.

--------

A couple months ago the neighbour called my wife to see if I was still home to come over and change out a flat tyre with a spare.

No worries, done and dusted in 5 minutes.......surprisingly her husband was still home......and he watched me change the tyre on his wife's car.

I asked him if he'd like to watch me do it so he could learn how to do it the next time.

He said "No. I work in an office and don't do manual labour."

I wanted to hit him with the jack handle...but I really pity him because he literally has zero self-respect for himself as a man.

He has a son my boys' age.

[frostfire]

Let's see. I was head of the classroom cleaning detail at 3rd grade. Lost the log book and lied about it. Teacher slapped me 6 times in front of class. No problem with lying since then. Yep, no PC in 3rd world country elementary schools.

Got punched and hit on the streets as well. The way it worked was if you don't have money, they had to leave a mark on ya. Not sure how much character development resulted out of those.

I sure learned early that you don't run your mouth unless you can back it up with a tough jaw and solid knuckles

[MR2]

Originally Posted by Flagg

This one hits close to home for me as dad to two young boys.

et al - that was really well written Flagg. Thank you.

[Sohei]

Originally Posted by Flagg

...but I really pity him because he literally has zero self-respect for himself as a man.

Very good write-up Flagg. As to the portion of your post that I quoted, the point of that was that he isn't a MAN -- he is simply a MALE -- by birth. He is weak by choice.

[Badger52]

Originally Posted by Flagg

Take a couple of you fellas on this forum and round up any 100 random apathetic hipsters in the country and give them 3 months of life skills and aggressive resilience training and a good chunk of them will respond.

Assembly line cult deprogramming.

Our base instincts are intact, to say they've genetically evaporated in a single lifetime is silly.

It's the sh!t that's plasticuffed our base instincts is what needs to be lit on fire.

Some good stuff right there.

Man Camp.

GD's and one little mule-bent GS are learning when they come to visit that getting dirty is part of normal, and boo-boo's will happen (but are worthwhile price for gettin' off the porch) and are SOP, as is dealing with them.

Watching their growing self-confidence in peer social situations is not an intangible.