02-19-2007, 11:44
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
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SNOW!!!!
DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching
the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering
every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to
shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment
.My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the
end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's
possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped
to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away,
but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour,
which I think was very cruel.
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it
when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living
room.
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff
last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy
playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store
around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of
the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till
August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I
was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for
the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is
lying.
December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is
she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she
did but I think she's damn well lying.
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who
drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know
he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he
comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with
her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x! slop tonight.
Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over
the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's
an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm
going to kill her.
December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all
HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving
me crazy!!!
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could
cave-in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I
am?
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million
dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9"
predicted.
December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
__________________
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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BMT (RIP) is offline
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02-19-2007, 11:57
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#2
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SW Virginia
Posts: 583
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BMT, that was a riot! And it sounded autobiographical.
As I was reading this, I wondered if this was the progression to insanity that Jack Nicholson's character went through in "The Shining". Pretty soon, you'd be typing, "All shovel and no play makes Jack a dull boy" over and over again.
ROFLMAO. Made my day.
Bandy
P.S.: Of course, the fact that I had to shovel my driveway last night and our business' front and back parking lots this morning made it hit a little closer to home, too. (All shovel and no play makes Bandy a dull boy)
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bandycpa is offline
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02-19-2007, 12:17
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#3
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Raeford, NC
Posts: 41
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Bravo. I'm in tears...oh great now i'm going to have to explain why i'm in tears.
LMAO! 
R
__________________
"it was like flashbangs and chemlights for everyone...they even called in the shuttle to do a low level gun run" - fellow QP
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sfbaby1982 is offline
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02-19-2007, 12:31
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South Georiga
Posts: 797
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BMT, that was great. I lived in Duluth Minn for four years....my brother still lives there......had to seal you stuff and sent it to him....
Thanks for the laugh and fond memories...
Jim
__________________
Breaking a law or violation of a regulation is not a mistake. It is willful misconduct.
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen." [Samuel Adams]
Jim
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incommin is offline
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02-19-2007, 13:48
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,945
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WOW !!!!!
Bob and I were wondering what happened to this guy.....
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ad.php?t=12793
 
__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
_____________________________________________
It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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02-19-2007, 19:06
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,135
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LOL! That was great!
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My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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01-16-2010, 12:02
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#7
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Quiet Professional (RIP)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Carriere,Ms.
Posts: 6,922
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Diary of a Snow Shoveler...........
Deleted
__________________
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
Zonie Diver
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
Jack Moroney
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII
Last edited by greenberetTFS; 01-17-2010 at 11:28.
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greenberetTFS is offline
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01-16-2010, 12:10
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#8
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SF Candidate
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 70
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I was kicked back enjoying while reading your story. I am sure you enjoyed the  from all the snow and where quite  when the roof caved in.
Hope the rest of the winter gets better haha.
Thank you for the today.
SG
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Speedgod is offline
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01-16-2010, 14:34
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#9
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Guest
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And....that is the reason I live in Florida...no snow!
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01-11-2011, 05:17
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#10
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Lone Star
Posts: 2,153
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just had to resurrect this thread since I finally can relate a bit
I was enjoying the pretty sight this AM. Later on I woke up and had to chisel 'bout an inch of ice to get in my car. Then I realized I had to chisel the whole car  All of a sudden I remembered the thread that calls the fluffy stuff coming down from heaven as white s**** I love snow/ice/sleet
__________________
"we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" Rom. 5:3-4
"So we can suffer, and in suffering we know who we are" David Goggins
"Aide-toi, Dieu t'aidera " Jehanne, la Pucelle
Der, der Geld verliert, verliert einiges;
Der, der einen Freund verliert, verliert viel mehr;
Der, der das Vertrauen verliert, verliert alles.
INDNJC
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frostfire is offline
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01-11-2011, 10:40
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Occupied Pineland
Posts: 4,701
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Nice resurect! Got home at 0130 Monday morning and between then and 0645 when I got up to go to work it had already snowed about three inches. Before it changed to freezing rain last night we had almost six inches (so much for a "non-event"). Post has been closed for two days and God alone knows what tomorrow will bring (and my workload will be that much more when I finally do get back in the office). Oh - forgot to mention - wet dogs stink. At least it's good for a laugh watching the puppy slide around on the ice. She's not heavy enough yet to reliably break through for good footing. At least there isn't any mud yet, though that is inevitable. Wonder if I can send a bill to Al Gore?
__________________
A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear.
~ Marcus Tullius Cicero (42B.C)
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Peregrino is offline
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01-11-2011, 11:23
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 2,952
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BWAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Missed this first time around, thanks for the bump.
Gotta go suit up for snow management chores : Fill-up the generators, fire up the snowblower, move the Kubota with the front-end loader up to the driveway, lube front-end loader, spray Pam on the snow shovels and snowblower augers, deploy VDOT snowplow deterrent devices (SDD), transfer funds to pay the fine for SDD use (cheaper than cost of and hassle of new mailbox), get out tire chains for wife's car, mount tire chains on wife's car so it will look nice and ready in the garage( she won't drive it in snow even with chains on), and secure enough beer to make snow management chores tolerable .
Don't ya just love the white stuff  ?
RF 1
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Red Flag 1 is offline
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01-11-2011, 13:05
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#13
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,832
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrino
Nice resurect! Got home at 0130 Monday morning and between then and 0645 when I got up to go to work it had already snowed about three inches. Before it changed to freezing rain last night we had almost six inches (so much for a "non-event"). Post has been closed for two days and God alone knows what tomorrow will bring (and my workload will be that much more when I finally do get back in the office). Oh - forgot to mention - wet dogs stink. At least it's good for a laugh watching the puppy slide around on the ice. She's not heavy enough yet to reliably break through for good footing. At least there isn't any mud yet, though that is inevitable. Wonder if I can send a bill to Al Gore?
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Yeah, but they waited till 0800 yesterday to close post, by which point I was already on main post and stuck in the traffic.
I swear the people who make the weather call for Bragg have their heads firmly up their asses.
TR
__________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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01-11-2011, 13:15
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#14
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RIP Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Ozarks
Posts: 10,072
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reaper
Yeah, but they waited till 0800 yesterday to close post, by which point I was already on main post and stuck in the traffic.
I swear the people who make the weather call for Bragg have their heads firmly up their asses.
TR
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And have their asses firmly on their living room couches before making the call, I'd imagine.
__________________
"There you go, again." Ronald Reagan
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Dusty is offline
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01-11-2011, 13:17
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#15
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Fayetteville
Posts: 13,080
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Face Book
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reaper
Yeah, but they waited till 0800 yesterday to close post, by which point I was already on main post and stuck in the traffic.
I swear the people who make the weather call for Bragg have their heads firmly up their asses.
TR
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My neighbor made it in along with two others. They were told post was closed and to go home.
They gripped about not being told earlier. They were told - "It was posted on Face Book". Evidently Fort Bragg is a Face Book member.
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Pete is offline
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