Go Back   Professional Soldiers ® > At Ease > The Comedy Zone

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-11-2009, 21:31   #1
Saoirse
Guerrilla Chief
 
Saoirse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: The Nam
Posts: 777
Sometimes you just have to ask...

Why?, Why?, Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars;
but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If people evolved from apes...
Why are there still apes?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use
the bubbles are always white?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is i t that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
__________________
A tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny ~ Aesops Fables; The Lamb and the Wolf

Am fear nach gleidh na h-airm san t-sith, cha bhi iad aige 'n am a' chogaidh
"He that keeps not his arms in time of peace will have none in time of war" Old Gaelic

Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property... Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them. Thomas Paine
Saoirse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 09:25   #2
nmap
Area Commander
 
nmap's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 2,760
Why do people say "I could care less" when they mean "I could not care less!"
__________________
Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero

Acronym Key:

MOO: My Opinion Only
YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary
ETF: Exchange Traded Fund


Oil Chart

30 year Treasury Bond
nmap is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 12:47   #3
HQ6
Guerrilla
 
HQ6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
I flip it over and bang it against the heel of my palm... and it works!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Because eventually we will get hungry enough to force out lazy asses to cook something in there... either that or we are hoping for a visit from the food fairy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
You have obviously never met my father-in-law


Quote:
Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
Oh it is definitely us... um... I mean me.
__________________
Moglie del Soldato
HQ6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2009, 15:36   #4
Goldy
Asset
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: WA
Posts: 3
Why do we drive on parkways, and park in driveways?


I never noticed a lot of those things on that list... but now that I think about it, yeah, the are always sales on mattresses.
__________________
War is our means. Peace is our end.
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss . . . the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Goldy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 00:51.



Copyright 2004-2026 by Professional Soldiers ®
Site Designed, Maintained, & Hosted by Hilliker Technologies