12-10-2009, 15:58
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#1
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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Tiger Woods jokes
They're out they're folks...let's hear 'em.
Q: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?
A: Santa stops after 3 "Ho's"
Gatorade has announced they will be dropping sponsorship of Tiger Woods as their spokesperson, but Trojan brand Condoms has expressed a BIG interest in him.
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Non Sibi Sed Suis
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It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!! 
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Sdiver is offline
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12-10-2009, 16:37
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#2
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Area Commander
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Raeford, NC
Posts: 3,374
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Heard Tiger is changing his name to "CHEETAH"
and heard also that Taylor Made has a new club called the "Elin"...guaranteed to beat Tiger.
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D-3129 Life
"If one day you decide to know yourself...you'll have to choose the warrior path...You'll reach the darkness of your spirit.... Then, if you overcome your fears....You will know who you are."
"De Oppresso Liber"
Last edited by Snaquebite; 12-10-2009 at 16:39.
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Snaquebite is offline
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12-10-2009, 17:19
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#3
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Guest
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Tiger is the only one to drive into a fire hydrant and catch fire.
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12-10-2009, 19:32
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#4
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SF Candidate
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: tristate area
Posts: 61
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Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a car to Tiger?
A: He can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
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deepblack 18x is offline
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12-10-2009, 19:44
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#5
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Asset
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Lafayette, La
Posts: 23
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Tiger Woods owns a lot of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one!
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JoelBlack is offline
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12-10-2009, 21:45
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#6
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SF Candidate
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fremont, CA
Posts: 14
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On the radio this morning, they changed the lyrics of the song White Christmas to "I'm dreaming of a white mistress" and they made a whole song out of it in tribute to Tiger.
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Daweism is offline
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12-10-2009, 21:57
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#7
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: DFW Area
Posts: 401
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I was thinking today that there has to be some jokes coming out about now, glad to see this thread does not disappoint. 
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BigJimCalhoun is offline
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12-10-2009, 22:19
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#8
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SF Candidate
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fremont, CA
Posts: 14
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Conan O'brien has been ripping on Tiger Woods all week.
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Daweism is offline
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12-10-2009, 22:24
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#9
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,200
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Tsk, tsk, tsk!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Sdiver
They're out they're folks...let's hear 'em.
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Fill in the blanks: "The ______ ______ is your ______."
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ad.php?t=26453
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
Last edited by PSM; 12-10-2009 at 22:32.
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PSM is offline
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12-10-2009, 22:38
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#10
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PSM
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Touche'
Okay.....
Fill in the blanks: "You ___ of a _____!!!!!"
__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
_____________________________________________
It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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12-10-2009, 22:47
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#11
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SF Candidate
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Fremont, CA
Posts: 14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sdiver
Touche'
Okay.....
Fill in the blanks: "You ___ of a _____!!!!!"
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You beast of a soldier!!!!!
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Daweism is offline
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12-11-2009, 00:02
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,200
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daweism
You beast of a soldier!!!!!
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Gracias, mi amigo!
To be fair, though, his fingers may be a bit stiff in this weather.
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
Last edited by PSM; 12-11-2009 at 00:04.
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PSM is offline
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12-13-2009, 20:00
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#13
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Nashville
Posts: 310
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Tiger Woods Commemorative Plates
__________________
"And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom?"- Braveheart
de Oppresso Liber
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olhamada is offline
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12-15-2009, 14:30
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#14
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Area Commander
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Raeford, NC
Posts: 3,374
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Lil Johnny
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says,
"I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "Now who said that?"
Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. Can I go now?"
__________________
D-3129 Life
"If one day you decide to know yourself...you'll have to choose the warrior path...You'll reach the darkness of your spirit.... Then, if you overcome your fears....You will know who you are."
"De Oppresso Liber"
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Snaquebite is offline
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12-17-2009, 01:05
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#15
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 316
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anyone else find it ironic that Tiger Woods hit a tree...
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–Albert Einstein
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spherojon is offline
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