An elderly couple was attending church services when about halfway through
she leans over and says to him, "I just had a silent passing of gas, what do
you think I should do?"
He leans over to her and replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.
--John Stewart Mill--