gender and husbands for sale

[frostfire]

GENDER

You may not know this but many non-living things have a gender.

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc
if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it,
and, of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but
it's handy to have around.

10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this:
it gives a man pleasure,
he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!




HUSBANDS FOR SALE

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, TX, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates:

"You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you can not go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31.456.012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!

Please watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!