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A Few Thoughts
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
"Implants?" She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a
moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?"
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the res t of your life.
12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
days I've stayed alive.
14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50
for Miss America?
15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
19. Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of jalapenos.
What I do today, will probably burn my ass tomorrow.
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
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'bout to get a whole herd of those unassembled snowmen tomorrow night!
Linear Mode
