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New Lexus
A woman bought a new Lexus LS400, and returned it the next day, complaining that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked.
The Salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. Watch this!" he said........"Nelson!" The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"
"Willie!" he continued....and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she'd say, "Beethoven", she'd get beautiful classical music, and if she said, "Beatles!" she'd get one of their awesome songs.
One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them.
"ASSH0LES!" she yelled.......
The French National Anthem began to play, sung by the Dixie Chicks, accompanied by Jane Fonda and Michael Moore
__________________
"Excretion is the bitter part of valor."
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