Deep in Thought

BMT (RIP) · 03-30-2005, 10:54

A man walking along a California beach was deep in thought. Suddenly the
sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant
you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I
want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the
enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required
to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would
take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but
it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify
me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,

"Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she
feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong,
and how I can make a woman truly happy.."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

jbour13 · 03-30-2005, 11:10

I'll have Household 6 take a look at this one,....while I'm in the other room (good standoff distance).

**Peregrino** · 03-30-2005, 11:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by jbour13

I'll have Household 6 take a look at this one,....while I'm in the other room (good standoff distance).

You might want to rethink your definition of "safe" standoff. Most of them come with a variable KT (or MT) yield that is determined autonomously by factors incomprehensible to the average mortal - and apparently the Big Guy too!

Peregrino

jbour13 · 03-30-2005, 11:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peregrino

You might want to rethink your definition of "safe" standoff. Most of them come with a variable KT (or MT) yield that is determined autonomously by factors incomprehensible to the average mortal - and apparently the Big Guy too!

Peregrino

Maybe I'll be in the GMC with it running, with my flyaway kit strapped in.

Actually she thinks these kinds of jokes are funny, no blood, no foul!

Bravo1-3 · 03-30-2005, 13:05

So I'm thinking "Oh, she'll think this is funny" and I forward it to my wife at work.

Her reply:
"And this is funny to you? What are you saying?"

Goggles Pizano · 03-30-2005, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bravo1-3

So I'm thinking "Oh, she'll think this is funny" and I forward it to my wife at work.

Her reply:
"And this is funny to you? What are you saying?"

DUCK AND COVER!

Cincinnatus · 03-30-2005, 18:27

this is the danger of telling jokes to women. I tried explaining this to FrontSight some time ago. I told her "I hate telling jokes to women, because they always take them personally."

"I DO NOT!" she replied...

**Kyobanim** · 03-30-2005, 19:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bravo1-3

So I'm thinking "Oh, she'll think this is funny" and I forward it to my wife at work.

Her reply:
"And this is funny to you? What are you saying?"

Man! You're gonna be paying for that one.

Bravo1-3 · 03-31-2005, 00:20

So this guy has just gone through a nasty divorce. The wife and her attorney have played every nasty trick in the book, used every unethical tactic, and left no bridges unburned in their efforts to take everything this man has. As he's walking down the beach he finds a lamp, and on a lark, he picks it up and cleans it off with his shirt.

POOF! Out pops a Genie, who promptly announces that he will grant him 3 wishes. But there is a caveat: In order to maintain balance within the universe, he must give the mans ex-wife twice what he gives to the man.

So the guy thinks about it and says "I want $100,000,000" POOF! "It's yours" says the Genie "And of course, I had to give $200,000,000 to your ex-wife."

So now the guy says "I want a 20,000 square foot house on my own private 3000 acre estate." POOF! "It is yours, and I gave your ex-wife a 40,000 square foot house on her own private 6000 acre estate."

Then the genie asks "What is your final wish?"
The man thinks about it for a minute, then says "Scare me half to death."

Cincinnatus · 04-12-2005, 15:30

this is the danger of telling jokes to women. I tried explaining this to FrontSight some time ago. I told her "I hate telling jokes to women, because they always take them personally."

"I DO NOT!" she replied...

I just felt like living dangerously and seeing if I could get away with posting this twice w/o FS calling in an airstrike on my position.

Sacamuelas · 04-12-2005, 16:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cincinnatus

I just felt like living dangerously and seeing if I could get away with posting this twice...

Hmmm...... you might want to think twice before acting.

Cincinnatus · 04-16-2005, 13:12

Looks like I got away with it again! Bwahaahaahaa!

Tetrian · 04-18-2005, 04:56

Its damn hard to post and sneak up on someone at the same time - so i wouldnt feel entirely safe if i was you

-Tet