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Old 08-16-2023, 14:22   #1
Box
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Run-In With The Law

Recently I was pulled over for speeding.
Admittedly, I WAS speeding – I was doing 55 in a 35 along the isolated back roads of North Carolina and the way that the speed limit signs bounced back and forth between 35-55-35-45-55-35 miles per hour, I’m still convinced that the entire section of road is just a speed trap for out-of-town drivers.

Anyway…
As the policeman approached my door, I asked him as politely as I could - "Is there a problem Officer?"
Obviously, his reply was that I was speeding and that he needed to see my license.
-I told him I did not have my license and that it had been suspended for drunk driving.

He did not seem amused and asked that I produce my vehicle registration and proof of insurance.

At this point, I figured, 'in for a penny, in for a pound' and told him that I had neither of those because the car was stolen. He asked me to get out of the car and promptly put me against the car and frisked me for identification – true to my word, I had no ID on my person. He asked again if the car was stolen and I assured him that it was. I then added that the owner had been murdered and was still in the trunk.

At this point – things began to get out of hand. He drew down on me, ordered me to get on the ground – face down, arms out, palms up and excitedly started calling for backup and even requested a watch commander on scene…
…within minutes there were several cars pulling in around me - lights flashing and everyone walking around with a purpose of some sort. The Sergeant (that I can only assume was the watch commander at the time) walked up to the original officer and talked low enough that I couldn’t hear.

After a few tense moments of having guns pointed at me, the Sergeant came over, cuffed me, and pulled me to my feet as one of the other officers cautiously opened the trunk of my car. The looks on faces was one of complete confusion and the Sergeant leaned closer to my ear and with a very annoyed and very concerned voices said to me, "One of my officers has told me that you have stolen this car, murdered the owner, and placed the body in the trunk

"Murdered the owner?" I repeated calmly…

Yes” replied the Sergeant

Officer, this is MY car.

The Sergeant is clearly perturbed at this point "My officer also says that you do not have a drivers license, registration, or proof of insurance

I told the Sergeant that all of those papers were in the console of my vehicle.

The Sergeant guided me to the driver’s door of my car and rustled through my console for a few moments before pulling out my wallet, vehicle registration, and insurance card. He examined everything in my wallet, looking back and forth between me, my registration, my insurance card, my NC drivers license, my US Army Retiree Identification, my DoD CAC, and even my social security card.

After a few moments, he tossed everything onto the driver’s seat of my car and began removing the handcuffs.

The Sergeant was firm but polite and told me, “The officer that pulled you over is still a rookie and I’m not sure what exactly is going on here, but he reported that you told him you had stolen this car, put the owner’s dead body in the trunk, and then declared that your license had been suspended for drunk driving. You can go – please drive safe and have a good evening.

I thanked him and got in my car. Before he walked off, I said to the Sergeant, “…with a story like that I’m surprised he didn’t add reckless driving and speeding to the list of infractions – well, you have a good evening officer.
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

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Last edited by Box; 08-16-2023 at 14:26.
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Old 08-16-2023, 15:10   #2
bblhead672
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Lol. Thanks, needed a good laugh.
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Old 08-16-2023, 15:38   #3
Badger52
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Ba-dump Tiss!
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Old 08-20-2023, 18:20   #4
Joker
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Good one.
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Old 08-23-2023, 10:40   #5
rsdengler
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Hahaha
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