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Redneck
Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Freddie Standen, a redneck part-time intern, who was responsible for cleaning the animal's cages. Freddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The park administrator thought they might have a solution. Freddie was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for
$500.00?
Freddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Freddie announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions:
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips."
The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second," Freddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this."
The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third," Freddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern Baptist."
Once again the administrator agreed.
And last of all Freddie stated "You've got to give me another week to come up with the $500.00."
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War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.
--John Stewart Mill--
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