Go Back   Professional Soldiers ® > At Ease > The Comedy Zone

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-24-2017, 16:48   #1
cbtengr
Area Commander
 
cbtengr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,842
T.U.R.D.

Subject: Do You Know Someone Suffering From Trump Unacceptance & Resistance Disorder (TURD)

A little humor amid all the rancor and protesting over the recent presidential election. I think we need it...



Subject: Know the signs, spot the symptoms, and save a life. A very important read!


Do You Know Someone Suffering From Trump Unacceptance & Resistance Disorder (TURD)?

TURD is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time.
Sufferers of TURD often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, rioting, and uncontrollable crying.
People with TURD are characterized by a persistent unwillingness to accept that Donald Trump is going to Make America Great Again.
TURD Is caused by the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States of America. For many, both in America and worldwide, this was a shocking and unexpected outcome; their preferred news sources having failed to inform them that the alternative candidate was a criminal parasite in such ill health she got chucked into the back of a van like a kidnap victim.
Research is ongoing, but TURD appears to correlate closely with the following environmental and behavioral factors:
Patients with TURD are very resistant to treatment, and dangerous in large groups. Any possibility of treatment requires that they be separated from their hive-mind support apparatus; they cannot begin the process of accepting reality in the presence of encouragement towards delusion and irrationality. Separation may require the assistance of law enforcement.
If you have a friend or loved one suffering from TURD, urge them to seek treatment. Together we can beat this scourge, and Make America Great Again.


Know the signs, spot the symptoms, and save a life.
· Membership in the Democratic Party
· Identifying as a Feminist
· Currently enrolled in college, and/or Possession of a Liberal Arts college degree
· Living in a densely populated metropolitan area
· Massive student debt
· Spotty or non-existent work history
__________________
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
cbtengr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2017, 20:47   #2
Ret10Echo
Quiet Professional
 
Ret10Echo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Occupied America....
Posts: 4,740
Guffaw...

Well, That'll never pass the censor czars on Fakebook
__________________
"There are more instances of the abridgment of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations"

James Madison
Ret10Echo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2017, 01:25   #3
Requiem
Guerrilla Chief
 
Requiem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alaska
Posts: 777
Quote:
Originally Posted by cbtengr View Post

Know the signs, spot the symptoms, and save a life.
· Membership in the Democratic Party
· Identifying as a Feminist
· Currently enrolled in college, and/or Possession of a Liberal Arts college degree
· Living in a densely populated metropolitan area
· Massive student debt
· Spotty or non-existent work history
Also may believe in safety pins as talismans.
May have numerous bumper stickers on vehicles with slogans such as Teach Peace, Coexist, Born OK, and Gore 08.
Most recently have been seen dressed as giant rubber vaginas in public places and wish to be taken seriously.
__________________
Heroes are often the most ordinary of men. - Henry David Thoreau.
Requiem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2017, 08:21   #4
rsdengler
Area Commander
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem View Post
Also may believe in safety pins as talismans.
May have numerous bumper stickers on vehicles with slogans such as Teach Peace, Coexist, Born OK, and Gore 08.
Most recently have been seen dressed as giant rubber vaginas in public places and wish to be taken seriously.

***Bernie 17 Sticker
***Must maintain a weight of over 200 lbs, with unshaven pits to participate in any Feminist Protest
***Must shout out “He is not my President” carrying a sign that reads “My Body, Don’t Touch” and resemble Michael Moore in Drag
__________________
“Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Rita
rsdengler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2017, 08:50   #5
Box
Quiet Professional
 
Box's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,877
There have also been cases observed that are closely tied to an association with neo-conservative republicans. The worst cases so far have been observed by several career politicians employed by the US Senate. Neo-conservatives infected by TURD show milder symptoms and normally only display those symptoms when they are near a member of the national media. Much like pain radiating up the arm of a heart attack patient, classic signs of neocon specific TURD is the presence of a positive 'never-Trump' sign.
The most alarming cases are still the ones circulating within liberal minded communities. It is quite possible that there is something in the water on the left coast causing this disorder...


Sadly, there is no cure. In some extreme cases it is possible to treat certain symptoms, but the current strain of this disorder has a complex etiology that scientists do not fully understand.

In one case, an obscure media personality named Chelsea Handler fell victim to a characteristically flaming TURD episode when her ability to deify immigrants and those who gender-identify as females suffered a catastrophic failure. As the TURD overcame Ms Chandler, she became verbose and animated as she betrayed her self-proclaimed loyalty to the entire female gender. The result was an apoplectic fit that saw miss handler verbally attack a female immigrant by proclaiming that she "would never interview Melania Trump, she cant even speak English"

Ms Trump's ability to speak five different languages and her immigrant beginnings seemed to have no impact on Ms Handlers ability to demonstrate what some would refer to as "respectful social behavior". In this particular case it would seem that the only causative agent in Ms Chandlers TURD event was based purely on preconceived notions.



Many members of the media were unavailable for comment but numerous researchers 'on the right' have reportedly offered free medical advice to Ms Chandler by inviting her to go fuck herself.

In other news, Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 presidential election by a 77 point margin.
HA
HA
HA
HA
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.

"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing

Last edited by Box; 01-25-2017 at 09:11.
Box is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2017, 08:54   #6
rsdengler
Area Commander
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy L-bach View Post
There have also been cases observed that are closely tied to an association with neo-conservative republicans.


Many members of the media were unavailable for comment but numerous researchers 'on the right' have reportedly offered free medical advice to Ms Chandler by inviting her to go fuck herself.

In other news, Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 presidential election by a 77 point margin.
HA
HA
HA
HA
WHAAAA, HAAAA...that is way too funny, I just spit my yogurt all over my computer screen....
__________________
“Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Rita
rsdengler is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 19:34.



Copyright 2004-2022 by Professional Soldiers ®
Site Designed, Maintained, & Hosted by Hilliker Technologies