I had to check. This was not published on April 1st. Take out a hipster with your four wheel drive. The gene pool will thank you.
http://www.esquire.com/style/news/a3...litter-beards/
Glitter Beards Are Now a Thing and They Must Be Stopped
The most important issue of our time.
BY DIANA BRUK
NOV 24, 2015
The most recent offense to taste and style comes in the form of the #glitterbeard: a disconcerting "trend" on social media that asks men to dip their beards into glitter, presumably to promote some misguided form of the holiday spirit. (Side note: can we please stop with the silly fake grooming trends on social media, guys?)
Let's think about all the ways this is terrible.
First of all, you look absurd.
The only acceptable reason for looking like this would be if you were babysitting a small, feral child in possession of a glue gun.
Also, you will never ever get the glitter out.
No matter how many times you shower, you will continue to find glitter in some follicle somewhere until the day you die.
Glitter will appear in places where glitter most certainly doesn't belong.
And the only place where glitter belongs is in a kindergarten class.
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