We had a party tonight here at the house. My wife invited everyone from her department, most of whom brought their spouses in tow. One of these spouses saw my "I love me" wall in my office, which includes my shadow box with my medals ribbons and badges. I attended the Army Air Assault School at Schofield Barracks, and while Marines are not authorized to wear the AA Badge on their uniforms, I was given one along with my certificate. It's displayed in the shadow box along with everything else.
So this victim says something to me along the lines of "Oh, you're qualified to jump out of helicopters too!?"
I asked him what he was talking about, and he pointed to the AA Badge. Instead of answering, I asked him if he had ever served. He proceeded to give me the standard issue entry level poser story about being a "Green Beret in the Army".
I asked him a few questions disguiesed as statements of curiosity "So were you in before they switched to that weak Robin Sage exercise instead of the 'mans way' to earn your beret?" (Bear with me, I was setting up an "L" shaped ambush with TOT SAF... I already KNEW the guy was a fake because of the wings). Indeed, he "was in before Robin Sage was implemented"... I'm still in my 30's, and he's younger than me.
According to him, he went to Infantry School at Ft. Ord (not OSUT, Infantry School), and did so well that they made him a Sergeant when he graduated. I don't know about you all, but
I was certainly impressed.
At this point, I obviously had to violate OPSEC, and find out which ODA he was on. Aftr some probing, he finally told me he was with 1st Group at Ft. Lewis on Team 4. I guess he failed SERE School or something since I didn't have to do anything other than ask
It has also come to my attention that if you go to 1st Group, you do not have to attend DLI, since they mostly operate in the continental United States assisting the FBI, DEA, and State Narcotics Offices doing drug raids, warrants and the like.
Unfortunately, the combination of booze and poor company finally got the better of me, and I explained to him that he was full of shit, thta both of us knew he was full of shit, and that I thought it best for him to return to the party and sit quietly so I didn't have to bust him out in front of everyone. I also warned him that I heard of him telling his little tale to anyone else, I'd dime him out in front of my wifes entire department AND hand his name over to a certain group of people I communicate with who might take offense.
He fessed up that he'd never even been in ANY branch of service, appologized, then went into the living room and waited for the ball to drop without saying more than 3 words to anyone other than his wife. They were gone at 12:10am, almost an hour before my wife and I started making polite suggestions that the party was over
I'm proud to have been able to render this small (light work really) service for those who have earned thier place, and close out 2004 knowing that I made that fuckers rectum pucker into his sternum for at leat the first 10 minutes of 2005.
Semper Fi gents, Happy New Year, and dare I say it... DOL!
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