12-14-2013, 15:43
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Where the Trade Winds blow
Posts: 706
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Newly Married
The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, “Honey, I’m going to Hank’s Tavern to have a beer. I’ll be right back”.
“Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife
“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,” he answered. “I’m going to have a beer.”
The wife said, “ You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, ect.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “ Yes, lollipop… But at the bar… You know… they have frozen glasses…
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors-d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
“You want hors-d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 4 dishes of different hor-d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps and little quiches.
“But my sweet honey… At the bar… You know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”
“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Listen up, chicken shit. Sit your sorry ass down, shut the hell up, drink your Fu%*in’ beer in your stupid frozen mug and eat your dumb ass hors-d’oeuvres right here because you’re f*#ckin’ married now and your sorry ass is soo not going to any damned bar. That shit is over… Got it, dumb ass?”
And they lived happily ever after.
LHC
__________________
"Just call on me brother, when you need a hand..."
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Last hard class is offline
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12-14-2013, 17:29
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#2
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,206
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Last hard class
The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, “Honey, I’m going to Hank’s Tavern to have a beer. I’ll be right back”.
“Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife
“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,” he answered. “I’m going to have a beer.”
The wife said, “ You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, ect.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “ Yes, lollipop… But at the bar… You know… they have frozen glasses…
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors-d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
“You want hors-d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 4 dishes of different hor-d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps and little quiches.
“But my sweet honey… At the bar… You know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”
“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Listen up, chicken shit. Sit your sorry ass down, shut the hell up, drink your Fu%*in’ beer in your stupid frozen mug and eat your dumb ass hors-d’oeuvres right here because you’re f*#ckin’ married now and your sorry ass is soo not going to any damned bar. That shit is over… Got it, dumb ass?”
And they lived happily ever after.
LHC
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Uh, oh. I know who that happened to, Tim. 
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
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PSM is offline
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12-14-2013, 17:42
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#3
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hobbiton
Posts: 1,209
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ha, she said 'poo'
S
__________________
"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for power equal to your tasks."
-- Phillip Brooks
"A man's reach should exceed his grasp"
-- Robert Browning
"Hooah! Pushing thru the shit til Daisies grow, Sir"
-- Me
"Malo mori quam foedari"
"Death before Dishonour"
-- Family Coat-of-Arms Maxim
"Mārohirohi! Kia Kaha!"
"Be strong! Drive-on!"
-- Māori saying
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Scimitar is offline
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12-14-2013, 18:26
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sneaking back and forth across the Border
Posts: 6,692
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SF_BHT is offline
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12-14-2013, 23:30
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#5
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Where the Trade Winds blow
Posts: 706
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SF_BHT
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SF_BHT: You passed the test.
For you young guys thinking about the SF life, but your reading this because the wife won't let you out tonight. Here's some advice, don't drop a packet.
PSM: You know me, I hardly ever get out for fresh air.
LHC
__________________
"Just call on me brother, when you need a hand..."
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Last hard class is offline
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12-14-2013, 23:45
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Clay House Stuttgart, Germany
Posts: 2,676
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Back in my drinking days at a bar onetime one of my girlfriends yelled a bunch of profanities at me and then threw a full bottle of Budweiser at the windshield of my Ford pick-up while I was sitting in it. Everyone at the redneck establishment thought it was pretty funny.
Later we laughed about it too after we calmed down. 
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mojaveman is offline
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12-14-2013, 23:52
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#7
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,206
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Last hard class
PSM: You know me, I hardly ever get out for fresh air.
LHC
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"Road trip!" [we need one of those ROTFLMAO smilies] 
BTW, you are the only guy I ever knew that got lost taking a taxi!
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
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PSM is offline
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12-16-2013, 17:58
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#8
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Georgetown, SC
Posts: 4,204
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PSM
"Road trip!" [we need one of those ROTFLMAO smilies]
BTW, you are the only guy I ever knew that got lost taking a taxi!
Pat |
And then corrupted an SFer and his son!
__________________
"I took a different route from most and came into Special Forces..." - Col. Nick Rowe
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ZonieDiver is offline
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12-16-2013, 18:15
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#9
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,206
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZonieDiver
And then corrupted an SFer and his son! |
And said SFer moved to Texas shortly thereafter. 
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
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PSM is offline
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12-16-2013, 20:40
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#10
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NM
Posts: 525
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PSM
Uh, oh. I know who that happened to, Tim.
Pat |
Me?? 
It was a strip club not a bar anyway.
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NurseTim is offline
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12-16-2013, 20:51
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 4,088
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NurseTim
Me??
It was a strip club not a bar anyway. |
You got married in a strip club? How awesome was that!
__________________
The two most powerful warriors are patience and time - Leo Tolstoy
It's Never Crowded Along the Extra Mile - Wayne Dyer
WOKE = Willfully Overlooking Known Evil
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MR2 is offline
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12-16-2013, 21:26
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NurseTim
Me??
It was a strip club not a bar anyway. |
Quote:
Originally Posted by MR2
You got married in a strip club? How awesome was that!
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Bachelor part AND Wedding at the same place ... at the SAME time ....
CoooOOOOOoooooolllllllllll........  
__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
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It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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