Looking for questions?

tunanut · 09-26-2013, 18:27

I need some of you "thinkers" to come up with some questions for a meeting I have with a father and son @ 0700. His son (16), I caught stealing beer from my store today. The father was beside himself when I ask over phone what he thought would be an appropriate punishment and had no answer. I will get my pound of flesh, but I could use some professional's advise with questions for both of them to aid my decision to or not to prosecute. I believe that we all make mistakes, but it's the consequences of our mistakes that make us learn. What say you?

JJ_BPK · 09-26-2013, 18:50

1)No meeting without a LEO and or lawyer. Pop just might favor his kid and take it out on you. Your good deed may bight you.

2)Don't offer a Chinese menu of pick one from col A or B. Give him one choice or refer him to the LEO.

3)As to the choice, it's your call not theirs. If you have a feeling the kid is worth it? Give him a pass and let him ware a sign board " I will not steal" If you already know this was the xxx case a beer he stole, go hard. Next time he may bring a bat,, or golf club,, or 10 of his buds,, or ??? Might not be your place, so think of the next guy.

My $00.0002

**The Reaper** · 09-26-2013, 18:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by tunanut

I need some of you "thinkers" to come up with some questions for a meeting I have with a father and son @ 0700. His son (16), I caught stealing beer from my store today. The father was beside himself when I ask over phone what he thought would be an appropriate punishment and had no answer. I will get my pound of flesh, but I could use some professional's advise with questions for both of them to aid my decision to or not to prosecute. I believe that we all make mistakes, but it's the consequences of our mistakes that make us learn. What say you?

How about asking him why stealing is morally wrong, as well as legally?

Has he done this before? How many times? Big crimes come from small ones.

Why beer? Does he think the alcohol makes him smarter, cooler, etc.?

Ask the Dad if he ever explained why stealing and underage drinking are wrong.

When it comes to punishment, nothing (legal) makes an impression on a juvenile like honest work.

How about a Saturday of forced labor?

And you definitely need a back-up there, maybe with a video recorder as well.

If he shows attitude or defiance, call the cops.

TR

Paslode · 09-26-2013, 19:13

I remember when I was 4 or 5 I went to the local grocery store with my Dad. I wanted some gum, my dad told me no, later while checking I grabbed a few pieces and stuffed them into my pocket.

While my Dad was loading the groceries into the car I got one of the ill gotten goods out of my pocket and placed in my mouth. About half way home my Dad looked over and asked what I had in my mouth........

We got home and my Dad called Mr. Brown, dad told Mr. Brown he had caught a thief and he was bringing him back up to the store. All the way to the store dad is telling me I might have to go to jail!

Dad walked me into the store and said, Here he is Brownie! Tell him what you did Son and give him back what you took....and Dad left.

So I had to apologize to Mr. Brown that I stole a few pieces of gum. I was crying because I was sure I was going to jail.

Never did it again

GratefulCitizen · 09-26-2013, 19:24

Choosing whether or not to press charges in exchange for labor or some other compensation might not be legal.
Something to consider.

tunanut · 09-27-2013, 06:12

Thanks fellas. I get unfortunate privilege of dealing with this more than most and the DA gives me some leeway and any decision is made in concert with him. He's prior service, knows me well, and trusts my judgement. If the kids have been in trouble before, they don't get a break, period. LEO's were involved yesterday and the boy got to feel what it's like riding in the back seat, it's never pleasant. I've really got to thank the officers, they do a real good job around here when dealing with kids that make bad decisions. It goes out of my hands when I go down to the magistrate's office to swear out a warrant, then the judicial system takes over. I usually make that decision after I've met the parents. If I sense any attitude or apathy, I let the law run it's course. If the parents are embarrassed, cooperative and agreeable to some forced labor, I give the kids a chance to learn a lesson without getting it on their record.

My store has a 32 camera system, nothing goes unrecorded. I've already have two coming for some dirty work next Sunday for stealing candy, I just add a third kid to the workforce. The kid and his dad had obviously had a heart to heart, both were red faced and teary eyed. I listened to his apology and felt the kid deserves a chance to work his was out of the jam he put himself into.

I continue to use these incidents to teach my kids about making good decisions, both in what you do and who you hang out with.

JHD · 09-27-2013, 07:21

In reading that apology letter, did you notice the spacing between words? Not always, but sometimes that is an indicator that the person might be lonely. If the apology was his, it reads like he is intelligent, articulate, and truly apologetic.

Hopefully, your requirements of him will help him atone, and he will be smart enough to learn the lesson you are teaching him. Maybe this situation and your handling of it will also let him know he is not alone.