Irish stew for Tuesday

[BMT (RIP)]

Shaughnessy walks into Muldoon’s saloon and yells
"I'm lookin' for the meanest, toughest and roughest hooker in all of Ireland.”

"We got her" replies Muldoon." “That be Molly and she be upstairs in the second room on the right."

Shaughnessy hands Muldoon a couple of quid to pay for Molly and the two beers. He grabs the bottles, stomps up the stairs, kicks open the second door on the right and yells "I'm look’n for the meanest, roughest, toughest hooker in all of Ireland."

Molly looks at Shaughnessy and says, "Ya found her!"
Then she strips naked, bends over and grabs her ankles.

"How do you know I want that position first?" asks Shaughnessy.

"I don't," replies Molly, "but I thought ya might want to open them beers first."


BMT

[Sdiver]

Aye, she learned that trick from me grandmother. (God rest her soul)

[Streck-Fu]

LOL....I'm stealing it.

[Peregrino]

Forwarded to me by one of the "usual suspects", provided for your entertainment (because "by golly, Ms. Molly that beating was well worth it!).

My First Condom. ...


I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Nola) knew what they were for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

Then she beat the shit out of me....

Women have always been hard for me to figure out!!!!!!!

[PSM]

Originally Posted by Peregrino

My First Condom. ...


I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Nola) knew what they were for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

Then she beat the shit out of me....

Women have always been hard for me to figure out!!!!!!!

Boy, does that bring back memories. Mine was a cucumber, though.

Pat

[Sdiver]

Originally Posted by PSM

Boy, does that bring back memories. Mine was a cucumber, though.

Pat

You use a cucumber when you're "getting busy" ????

[PSM]

Originally Posted by Sdiver

You use a cucumber when you're "getting busy" ????

'Twernt no thumb.

Pat

[BMT (RIP)]

A while back, when I was considerably younger, I picked up a lovely date at her parents' home.
I'd scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.
She ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Shrimp cocktail. Lobster, Patron, Champagne . I asked her, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?"
"No," she replied. "but my mother's not expecting a blow job tonight."
I said "Would you care for dessert?"

BMT

[Sdiver]

Originally Posted by BMT

A while back, when I was considerably younger, I picked up a lovely date at her parents' home.
I'd scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant.
She ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Shrimp cocktail. Lobster, Patron, Champagne . I asked her, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?"
"No," she replied. "but my mother's not expecting a blow job tonight."
I said "Would you care for dessert?"

BMT

Hummmm .... Does she have a sister ????

[MR2]

Now that's what I call a happy meal!