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Old 08-18-2012, 09:44   #1
hooah12
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The $50 Lesson

Wasn't sure if this belonged in The Soapbox or the Comedy Zone, but I figured it was more political than anything.


The $50 Lesson

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride! "Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" I told her. "What do you mean?" she replied. So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out and give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house." She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?" I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her parents aren't speaking to me anymore.
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And then I heard the voice of the Lord saying "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said "Here I am, Send Me!"

"The reason the Middle East is so f*cked up is because no one there eats bacon. What's wrong with them? Who the f*ck doesn't eat bacon?"
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Old 08-18-2012, 09:58   #2
Dusty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hooah12 View Post
Wasn't sure if this belonged in The Soapbox or the Comedy Zone, but I figured it was more political than anything.


The $50 Lesson

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride! "Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" I told her. "What do you mean?" she replied. So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out and give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house." She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?" I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her parents aren't speaking to me anymore.
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Old 08-18-2012, 17:28   #3
KimuraFTW
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Hahaha...this is awesome.
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Old 08-18-2012, 17:47   #4
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Originally Posted by hooah12 View Post
Wasn't sure if this belonged in The Soapbox or the Comedy Zone, but I figured it was more political than anything.
Well, since it didn't really happen to you and is a made-up story making the rounds, I'd say the Comedy Zone is more appropriate.

Found it here, among other places: http://www.datehookup.com/Thread-992051.htm

Pat
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Old 08-18-2012, 17:53   #5
hooah12
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Well, since it didn't really happen to you and is a made-up story making the rounds, I'd say the Comedy Zone is more appropriate.
My bad, I figured it would go here since its political in nature. Will keep that in mind for the future.
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And then I heard the voice of the Lord saying "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said "Here I am, Send Me!"

"The reason the Middle East is so f*cked up is because no one there eats bacon. What's wrong with them? Who the f*ck doesn't eat bacon?"
-An SF Officer who shall remain unnamed
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