Nymphomaniac.............

[greenberetTFS]

Recently I was traveling to Key West, and I was changing planes in Chicago. I had just sat down and noticed this absolutely stunning woman coming down the isle looking for her seat. As luck would have it, she sat beside me. Not wanting to let this opportunity slip away, I quickly asked her if she was traveling for business or pleasure. She replied she was on a business trip. So, I inquired the nature of her business. She said that she was flying to Miami for a Nymphomaniac Convention, and she was giving a lecture. I asked her what the topic was. She said she lecture on sexual myths. I said,"Myths?" She said yeah like the myth that black men are the best endowed of the races. She went on to tell me that it is actually the American Natives that are the most well endowed. She went on to tell me that the French were supposedly the hottest lovers, when actually it is the Jews that are the hottest. She seen I was interested so she went on to say the men with the most stamina in the bedroom were the southern rednecks. I was grinning from ear to ear, and she blushed a little and said she shouldn't be telling me all this because she didn't know me. I said my name is Tonto, Tonto Finklestein, but my friends call me Bubba!..............

Big Teddy

[Red Flag 1]

Bubba wins this round.

[Dozer523]

Teddy! You have heart condition and might have heart SURGERY in your future. You shouldn't even be traveling especially by air. . . What if something happens due to changes in air pressure? And you most definately do not need the heart strain and stress of hooking up with some hot chickie on a plane. The anticipation alone could kill you. MAN, you don't know where she's been. I've never actually met a nympho but, if what I hear is even half true this is definately too much for your heart.

Holy Crap, You're MARRIED too. Oh, Teddy not good, not good.

From now on, no more long trips, no more traveling by air and LEAVE THE NYMPHO's ALONE!!

[ZonieDiver]

LEAVE THE NYMPHO's ALONE!!

or... leave them to me!

Cue "That's What Friends Are For"

[greenberetTFS]

I knew I could count on you guys to handle the "Left Overs".........

Big Teddy

[Red Flag 1]

Originally Posted by Dozer523

Teddy! You have heart condition and might have heart SURGERY in your future. You shouldn't even be traveling especially by air. . . What if something happens due to changes in air pressure? And you most definately do not need the heart strain and stress of hooking up with some hot chickie on a plane. The anticipation alone could kill you. MAN, you don't know where she's been. I've never actually met a nympho but, if what I hear is even half true this is definately too much for your heart.

Holy Crap, You're MARRIED too. Oh, Teddy not good, not good.

From now on, no more long trips, no more traveling by air and LEAVE THE NYMPHO's ALONE!!

Picky, picky,picky....

[Sigaba]

Originally Posted by Dozer523

LEAVE THE NYMPHO's ALONE!!

Either that or get secondary Twitter and Instagram accounts.

#giggity

[BryanK]

I just read a revised version of this one. An oldie but a goodie for sure!


A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in,
he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. ...
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

...Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,

"What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the
Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, " Tonto Finklestein, but my friends call me Billy Bob."



(I hope your still resting in God's peace Big Teddy )