04-28-2012, 17:34
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
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Chaperones included in new Secret Service conduct rules
Ethics classes will be conducted for agency employees next week.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012...#ixzz1tNgrwcYK
BMT
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Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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BMT (RIP) is offline
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04-29-2012, 08:19
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#2
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,861
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Hm...
So, are the chaperones going to make sure that the SS pay their 'hooker' bill next time?
...chaperones?
really?
Do they get guns?
imagine the following exchange in a bar in Columbia during the site survey...
Chaperone: "Agent Johnson, let go of that womans boobies".
Agent Johnson: "shut up nerd"
I wonder if they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of kids that used to have to give their lunch money to the jocks when they were in high school...
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Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.
"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
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Box is offline
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04-29-2012, 09:31
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#3
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 195
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Where was Bill's chaperone when Monica was in town? Is the POTUS going to have one too now, or is it cool if he's getting it for free?
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monsterhunter is offline
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04-29-2012, 10:03
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 298
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I would apply for the job After all who would be better at keeping people out of trouble than someone who was once told by my CoSGM, "Gerry you've never been in trouble, but you've always been right there"  .
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DDD is offline
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04-29-2012, 14:35
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#5
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Driving the Texas highways
Posts: 672
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy L-bach
I wonder if they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of kids that used to have to give their lunch money to the jocks when they were in high school...
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No, Billy, I heard they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of worn down housewives. Most highly qualified will be those ladies currently dealing with toddlers who are teething, having meltdowns, telling lies, or not sharing their toys.
SS (while listening to toddler screaming): "Um, I need $800 to take care of 'guests' at a guys-only party tonight."
Chaperone: "So lame. Is that the best you can do?"
SS: "Well, ALL the guys are doing it! You don't want me to be left out, do you?"
Chaperone: "Do you want your penis twisted into the shape of a pretzel or a timber hitch?"
SS: "Never mind. I'm suddenly feeling very motivated to get back to work."
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orion5 is offline
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04-29-2012, 17:47
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 2,952
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BMT
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Ethics taught under our current administration, Hmmmmm.
Will they use the GSA to set the ethics bar? Or the DOJ plan for securing automatic small arms?
Expect short classes, with a lot of actual photos of what not to do.
RF 1
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Red Flag 1 is offline
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04-29-2012, 18:56
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#7
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BANNED USER
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,751
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orion5
No, Billy, I heard they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of worn down housewives. . . .
Chaperone: "Do you want your penis twisted into the shape of a pretzel or a timber hitch?"
SS: "Never mind. I'm suddenly feeling very motivated to get back to work."
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If they're unavailable we still got em covered.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujxDA9VsQG4
Who here knew Jake and Elwood were working SS?
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Dozer523 is offline
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04-29-2012, 19:05
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#8
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Georgetown, SC
Posts: 4,204
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I've chaperoned a couple hundred high school dances since 1975. Secret Service agents should be a piece of cake!
Also, I have experience in bars in Central America... and I'm available immediately. 
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"I took a different route from most and came into Special Forces..." - Col. Nick Rowe
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ZonieDiver is offline
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04-30-2012, 00:43
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#9
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Quiet Professional (RIP)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Carriere,Ms.
Posts: 6,922
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__________________
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
Zonie Diver
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
Jack Moroney
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII
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greenberetTFS is offline
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04-30-2012, 00:55
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,861
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Quote:
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Chaperone: "Do you want your penis twisted into the shape of a pretzel or a timber hitch?"
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Orion...
That is so incredibly disturbing. The fact that you respond that way, AND seem to have knowledge of how to tie a timber hitch show that you are more than capable of holding a job as a secret service chaperone.
For the record, You seem really nice, but I am officially afraid of you now.
__________________
Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the author, and in no way reflect the opinions or policies of The Department of Defense, The United States Army, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, The Screen Actors Guild, The Boy Scouts, The Good, The Bad, or The Ugly. These opinions are provided purely as overly sarcastic social commentary and are not meant to be used for mission planning or navigation.
"Make sure your own mask is secure before assisting others"
-Airplane Safety Briefing
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Box is offline
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04-30-2012, 09:37
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 20,929
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy L-bach
Hm...
I wonder if they are going to recruit SS chaperones from a pool of kids that used to have to give their lunch money to the jocks when they were in high school...
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LOL, I heard from a Secret Service insider they are going to recruit the SS "moms" to go with them. 
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"The Spartans do not ask how many are the enemy, but where they are."
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Team Sergeant is offline
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04-30-2012, 10:15
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Clay House Stuttgart, Germany
Posts: 2,665
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Yeah, middle-aged, overweight, extremely verbal and dramatic Jewish or Italian mothers. 
Last edited by mojaveman; 04-30-2012 at 12:52.
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mojaveman is offline
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04-30-2012, 10:42
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#13
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ft. Bragg
Posts: 2,935
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Team Sergeant
LOL, I heard from a Secret Service insider they are going to recruit the SS "moms" to go with them. |
Any team guy can tell you all they need to do is bring along the one guy's wife who is the busybody of the group. She'll be calling all the other wives telling them exactly what's going on, who's out, who's in, etc.
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1stindoor is offline
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04-30-2012, 13:30
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#14
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western WI
Posts: 6,964
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Flag 1
Expect short classes, with a lot of actual photos of what not to do.
RF 1
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I can't tell you how anxious I am to see who's able to incorporate the interactive piece of the visit to an aparta into the annual Human Trafficking thing...
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Badger52 is offline
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04-30-2012, 18:14
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#15
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,806
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Broadsword2004
This is really crazy sounding IMO, the SS are supposed to be the ones who would be chaperones.
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No, Slick Willie put an end to that already.
Obviously, anything went on his watch.
TR
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
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