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You might be a Floridian if:
You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names of Charley, Frances or Ivan
If an airboat is parked in your drive instead of a car.
Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time
You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent the house color
You think of your hall closet/safe room as "cozy"
Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in"
Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it
You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months
You too haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster
You've ordered gas cans via FedEx
You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really means
You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood
You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw
Your Street has more than 3 " NO WAKE" signs posted
You now own 5 large ice chests
Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down"
You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations
You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street
Your depressed when they don't stop
You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood, roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer
You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own sand bags
You're considering upgrading to a 16" to a 20" chainsaw
You know what "Bar chain oil" is
You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector, face shield for Christmas
You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable
You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry ice"
Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy"
You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator doesn't get electric
And finally you might be a Floridian if
You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate Classifieds
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"Are you listening or just waiting to talk?"
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
"Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing."
Optimus Prime
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