04-01-2011, 12:09
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
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Blonde Joke
There are 3 people on an airplane.
The first person takes a bite of an apple and thinks it is too sweet, so they throw it out of the plane.
The second person takes a bite of a lemon and thinks it is too sour, so they throw it out of the plane.
The third person takes a bite out of a grenade and thinks it is too hard, so they throw it out of the plane.
When the plane lands, the 3 people decide to take a walk.
They come across a little girl that is really crying.
“Little Girl, Little Girl, why are you crying?”
“Because an apple fell out of the sky and killed my baby kitten.”
They walk further and come across a little boy that is really crying.
“Little Boy, Little Boy, why are you crying?”
“Because a lemon fell out of the sky and killed my baby puppy.”
They walk further and come across a blonde woman sitting along the curb laughing her rear off.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because I just farted and the building behind me blew up.”
BMT
__________________
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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BMT (RIP) is offline
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04-01-2011, 12:37
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#2
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Fayetteville NC
Posts: 3,533
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Nope, try again.  
__________________
Hold Hard guys
Rick B.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing it is great on a hamburger but not so great sticking one up your ass.
Author - Richard.
Experience is what you get right after you need it.
Author unknown. 
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longrange1947 is offline
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04-01-2011, 15:19
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#3
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Quiet Professional (RIP)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Carriere,Ms.
Posts: 6,922
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Well that was really funny BMT,good one.......... 
Big Teddy
__________________
I believe that SF is a 'calling' - not too different from the calling missionaries I know received. I knew instantly that it was for me, and that I would do all I could to achieve it. Most others I know in SF experienced something similar. If, as you say, you HAVE searched and read, and you do not KNOW if this is the path for you --- it is not....
Zonie Diver
SF is a calling and it requires commitment and dedication that the uninitiated will never understand......
Jack Moroney
SFA M-2527, Chapter XXXVII
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greenberetTFS is offline
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04-01-2011, 16:07
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#4
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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Here ya go LR ......
A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy. He didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
He said, "Great, tell me what you're so happy about!"
She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!
He kissed her and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said, "Oh, honey, there's more!"
He asked, "What do you mean, 'more?'"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!"
__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
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It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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04-03-2011, 07:59
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sdiver
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!"
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My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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04-03-2011, 08:20
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sdiver
Here ya go LR ......
A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy. He didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
He said, "Great, tell me what you're so happy about!"
She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!
He kissed her and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said, "Oh, honey, there's more!"
He asked, "What do you mean, 'more?'"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!"
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Those poor twins...hope they are not blonde as well! Oh the stories blonde twins can tell.....
Okay, okay....where are all the red-head jokes??? Let's not leave them out! hahahaha 
Holly
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echoes is offline
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04-03-2011, 09:09
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#7
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NorCal
Posts: 15,370
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We have quite a few blondes here in Taxas...but they're a bit of a different breed...
A blonde city girl from Dallas named Caitlin marries a Lubbock rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to his new wife, “The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above where the cow’s stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?”
The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door, so Caitlin takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when she sees the nail, tells him, “This is the one right here.”
The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, “Tell me lady, 'cause I’m dying to know...how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?”
“That’s simple," she replies. "By the nail that’s over its stall.”
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, “And what, pray tell, is the nail for?”
Caitlin turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”
Richard
__________________
“Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another)… There are just some kind of men who – who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results.” - To Kill A Mockingbird (Atticus Finch)
“Almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.” - Robert Heinlein
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Richard is offline
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04-03-2011, 09:29
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#8
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Fayetteville NC
Posts: 3,533
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Now you have them!!!
__________________
Hold Hard guys
Rick B.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing it is great on a hamburger but not so great sticking one up your ass.
Author - Richard.
Experience is what you get right after you need it.
Author unknown.
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longrange1947 is offline
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04-03-2011, 10:26
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#9
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard
We have quite a few blondes here in Taxas...but they're a bit of a different breed...
Caitlin turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”[/I]
Richard
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Would have said the same thing to the jackass!!!  hehehee
Holly--->Proud to be a blonde!
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echoes is offline
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