02-10-2011, 20:42
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Occupied Pineland
Posts: 4,701
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My Thinking Addiction
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then - just to loosen up and be a part of the crowd.
Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius, Camus and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly that we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, her lower lip aquiver.
"You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a fallacious syllogism," I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some John Locke. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.
They didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
Leaning on the unfeeling glass and whimpering for Emerson, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
Today, I took the final step... I joined the Democratic Party.
__________________
A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear.
~ Marcus Tullius Cicero (42B.C)
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Peregrino is offline
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02-10-2011, 23:23
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#2
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 186
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"I think, therefore I am." - Rene Descartes
Me thinks I think too much....therefore, I ain't joining no Damocratic Party.
(I think I misspelled that word.)
__________________
"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." Lou Holtz
SFA M-12786
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cetheridge is offline
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02-11-2011, 04:08
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#3
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RIP Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Ozarks
Posts: 10,072
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lololol Thanks for the warning, Bro. 
If it causes that much heartache, I hereby resolve to never start in the first place.
__________________
"There you go, again." Ronald Reagan
Last edited by Dusty; 02-11-2011 at 04:10.
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Dusty is offline
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02-11-2011, 04:41
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#4
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: 18 yrs upstate NY, 30 yrs South Florida, 20 yrs Conch Republic, now chasing G-Kids in NOVA & UK
Posts: 11,901
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I borrowed this to share with my non-thinking friends...
__________________
Go raibh tú leathuair ar Neamh sula mbeadh a fhios ag an diabhal go bhfuil tú marbh
"May you be a half hour in heaven before the devil knows you’re dead"
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JJ_BPK is offline
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02-11-2011, 13:06
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA-Germany
Posts: 1,574
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If the thinking addiction really gets out of hand, start watching Oprah?
__________________
"Men Wanted: for Hazardous Journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.” -Sir Ernest Shackleton
“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” –Greek proverb
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akv is offline
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02-11-2011, 16:31
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,134
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LOL!
My dad always used to say thinking will only get you into trouble.
__________________
My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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02-11-2011, 21:11
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#7
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 861
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*
__________________
"The difference is that back then, we had the intestinal fortitude to do what we needed to in order to preserve our territorial sovereignty and to protect the citizens of this great country, and today, we do not." TR
"I attribute the little I know to my not having been ashamed to ask for information, and to my rule of conversing with all descriptions of men on those topics that form their own peculiar professions and pursuits." John Locke
Last edited by dr. mabuse; 05-20-2011 at 00:22.
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dr. mabuse is offline
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02-12-2011, 03:02
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#8
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,557
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dr. mabuse
Or as Moe Howard said to Curly, "Every time you think, you weaken the nation." |
Are you sure that they weren’t talking to Joe Biden?
__________________
“This kind of war, however necessary, is dirty business, first to last.” —T.R. Fehrenbach
“We can trust our doctors to be professional, to minister equally to their patients without regard to their political or religious beliefs. But we can no longer trust our professors to do the same." --David Horowitz
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incarcerated is offline
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02-12-2011, 08:43
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#9
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 861
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*
__________________
"The difference is that back then, we had the intestinal fortitude to do what we needed to in order to preserve our territorial sovereignty and to protect the citizens of this great country, and today, we do not." TR
"I attribute the little I know to my not having been ashamed to ask for information, and to my rule of conversing with all descriptions of men on those topics that form their own peculiar professions and pursuits." John Locke
Last edited by dr. mabuse; 05-20-2011 at 00:22.
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dr. mabuse is offline
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02-12-2011, 08:51
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#10
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Georgetown, SC
Posts: 4,204
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When people ask me what I think, I say: "I think I'll have another beer."
__________________
"I took a different route from most and came into Special Forces..." - Col. Nick Rowe
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ZonieDiver is offline
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02-12-2011, 08:58
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#11
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Area Commander
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Raeford, NC
Posts: 3,374
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cetheridge
"I think, therefore I am." - Rene Descartes
Me thinks I think too much....therefore, I ain't joining no Damocratic Party.
(I think I misspelled that word.)
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"I think, therefore I'm single." Snaquebite
__________________
D-3129 Life
"If one day you decide to know yourself...you'll have to choose the warrior path...You'll reach the darkness of your spirit.... Then, if you overcome your fears....You will know who you are."
"De Oppresso Liber"
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Snaquebite is offline
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02-12-2011, 08:58
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dr. mabuse
Or as Moe Howard said to Curly, "Every time you think, you weaken the nation." |
Classic.
__________________
My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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02-12-2011, 11:04
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#13
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,557
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dr. mabuse
He is ignorant, doesn't know he's ignorant, and is arrogant about it to boot.
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Where I work, those are qualifications for a Supervisory position.
Joe is looked upon there as a dangerous intellectual.
__________________
“This kind of war, however necessary, is dirty business, first to last.” —T.R. Fehrenbach
“We can trust our doctors to be professional, to minister equally to their patients without regard to their political or religious beliefs. But we can no longer trust our professors to do the same." --David Horowitz
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incarcerated is offline
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