01-29-2011, 08:38
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: 11 miles from Dove Creek, Colorady
Posts: 3,924
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Think about it.
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer..
...and a mop.
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"...But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive."
Shakespeare - Henry V
Lazy Bob Ranch
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Utah Bob is offline
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01-29-2011, 12:18
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#2
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northeast Utah
Posts: 1,712
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Utah Bob
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer..
...and a mop.
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Cute...
Then, I thought about it (per your request). Skeleton's have no muscles, so he couldn't walk into the bar, nor did he have the lung capacty or vocal cords to place the order.
This is, of course, suspending belief enough to believe in reanimation. And, where did he/she keep the picture ID with its likeness on it to prove the skeleton was of age?
__________________
"The dignity of man is not shattered in a single blow, but slowly softened, bent, and eventually neutered. Men are seldom forced to act, but are constantly restrained from acting. Such power does not destroy outright, but prevents genuine existence. It does not tyrannize immediately, but it dampens, weakens, and ultimately suffocates, until the entire population is reduced to nothing better than a flock of timid, uninspired animals, of which the government is shepherd." - Alexis de Tocqueville
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PedOncoDoc is offline
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01-29-2011, 17:02
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#3
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Clay House Stuttgart, Germany
Posts: 2,675
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Doesn't have to go to the bathroom a bunch of times either, nor will he ever get a beer belly. 
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mojaveman is offline
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01-29-2011, 17:33
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#4
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Guest
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A few skeletons, ghosts and others in my closet still talk, some gesture to have me remove the duck tape from their mouths.
But a Horse walks into a bar, orders a cold one, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by PedOncoDoc
Cute...
Then, I thought about it (per your request). Skeleton's have no muscles, so he couldn't walk into the bar, nor did he have the lung capacty or vocal cords to place the order.
This is, of course, suspending belief enough to believe in reanimation. And, where did he/she keep the picture ID with its likeness on it to prove the skeleton was of age?
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01-29-2011, 18:40
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mojaveman
Doesn't have to go to the bathroom a bunch of times either, nor will he ever get a beer belly. |
And that's why some guys like, "the super-thin model chicks"...right? hahaha
Glad I have curves...... 
Holly
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echoes is offline
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01-29-2011, 18:43
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Clay House Stuttgart, Germany
Posts: 2,675
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
Glad I have curves......
Holly |
Dangerous curves?
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mojaveman is offline
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01-29-2011, 18:45
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#7
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mojaveman
Dangerous curves? |
Are there any other kind? 
hehehehe
Holly
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echoes is offline
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01-29-2011, 18:47
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#8
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 146
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Two ducks walk in to a bar
Think one of them would have............seen it 
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Unkown
"A politician sees his family everyday; a deployed soldier once in 6 months or a year. A politician flies 1st class; a soldier flies in a C130. A politician's pension is not reduced; a soldier's is clawed 65%. A politician enjoys an expense account; a soldier must justify extra rations. A politician vows to defend their country; a soldier actually keeps that promise."
"Beware of fake quotes on the Internet." -- Abraham Lincoln.
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PR31C is offline
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01-29-2011, 19:00
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#9
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,204
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PR31C
Two ducks walk in to a bar
Think one of them would have............seen it |
That's why we say "duck".
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
Last edited by PSM; 01-29-2011 at 21:46.
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PSM is offline
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01-29-2011, 20:13
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#10
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PSM
They why we say "duck".
Pat |
Do...not...get...it?
A duck, what? 
Holly...want to know... 
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echoes is offline
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01-29-2011, 20:23
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#11
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,204
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
Do...not...get...it?
A duck, what?
Holly...want to know... |
That's why we say "duck" (under the bar that's blocking our path). They were blonde ducks.
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
Last edited by PSM; 01-29-2011 at 20:31.
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PSM is offline
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01-29-2011, 21:03
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#12
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PSM
That's why we say "duck" (under the bar that's blocking our path). They were blonde ducks.
Pat |
Okay Pat.....but still...wtf are you talking about???
Holly
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echoes is offline
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01-29-2011, 21:44
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#13
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Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cochise Co., AZ
Posts: 6,204
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
Okay Pat.....but still...wtf are you talking about???
Holly |
Post...number...eight (8) by PR31C. It was a different joke added 7 (seven) posts after Utah Bob's.
"Two ducks walk in to a bar [round metal barrier]. [You would have thought that] one of them [duck] would have............seen it [the round metal BARrier]".
Pat
__________________
"Hector Lives!"
"The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." -- Frederick Douglass
"The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen." -- Dennis Prager
"The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
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PSM is offline
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01-29-2011, 21:50
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#14
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 334
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T
Quote:
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wo ducks walk in to a bar [round metal barrier]. [You would have thought that] one of them [duck] would have............seen it [the round metal BARrier]".
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A slight variation of the above joke:
A man walks into a bar. It hit him right in the forehead.
jaYson
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I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.
--Haim Ginott--
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Longstreet is offline
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01-29-2011, 23:12
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#15
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Guest
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I once was in a "realtionship" with a world class super model. The night clubs and parties were all good times. However, the other, was like sleeping with a pillow case full of kitchen utensils.
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