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Old 08-10-2010, 17:33   #1
Gypsy
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What a difference...

...a governor makes.

California:

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.



Arizona:

The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that's why California is broke.
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Old 08-10-2010, 18:16   #2
ZonieDiver
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Great! Except...


I think she packs a 9 mm!
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Old 08-10-2010, 18:57   #3
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I stand corrected!
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Old 08-10-2010, 23:42   #4
Combat Diver
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04/28/10-Texas Governor Perry used a Ruger LCP .380 to kill coyote attacking his dog (1 round).

CD

Last edited by Combat Diver; 08-10-2010 at 23:59.
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Old 08-11-2010, 06:14   #5
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11. California hires the Dog Whisperer to begin group therapy and sensitivity training for coyotes state wide; $4 million/year.

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Old 08-11-2010, 20:53   #6
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Some Jan Brewer facts.


You don't decide whether or not to boycott Arizona. Jan Brewer decides whether or not to let you in.

When Jan Brewer wants shade, she stares down the sun.

Sharks have a week dedicated to Jan Brewer.

Jan Brewer taught Chuck Norris how to do a roundhouse kick.

Liberal President Frankling D. Roosevelt once said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Jan Brewer."

Jan Brewer can squeeze orange juice out of lemons.

When Jan Brewer says jump, Obama breaks into tears.

Jan Brewer can pop a wheelie on a unicycle.

The most interesting man in the world retired when he met Jan Brewer.

Janet Napolitano lives vicariously through Jan Brewer.

Jan Brewer is known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into the room.

Jan Brewer once had an awkward moment. Just to see how it feels.

Chuck Norris gets his facts from Jan Brewer.

Monsoon season officially started when Jan Brewer made Obama cry because of SB1070.

Jan Brewer is what Willis was talkin' about.

Jan Brewer is the only person known to keep a pack of chupacabras as pets.

If you spell Jan Brewer in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

John Kerry secretly named his $7 million yacht "Jan Brewer" in an attempt to give it some class.

Jan Brewer isn't afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Jan Brewer.

http://www.facebook.com/janbrewerfacts?v=wall
http://www.janbrewerfacts.com/
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