03-18-2010, 18:38
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#1
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Asset
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Fort Benning
Posts: 0
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Crazy sh*t my dad says
This a blog from a guy who lives with his elderly father. He records the things his father says and posts them on this blog. Such ramblings as:
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"War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker."
"I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised."
"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor."
"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."
"There's a word for people like that...No, I'm saying, there's a word and I don't know what it is. I'm not being fucking poetic."
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Check back from time to time for this guy updates this blog constantly. Feel free to read on and post your favorites.
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
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“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”~ Bruce Lee
Last edited by Jimi3T; 03-18-2010 at 19:03.
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Jimi3T is offline
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03-18-2010, 18:47
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#2
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Area Commander
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA-Germany
Posts: 1,574
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Good stuff
Very funny stuff, funnier than most of the stuff on TV, your Pop seems quite the character.
-AKV
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"Men Wanted: for Hazardous Journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.” -Sir Ernest Shackleton
“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” –Greek proverb
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akv is offline
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03-19-2010, 11:02
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#3
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 2,952
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He does have a way with words. I liked the optimist vs idiot line  .
RF 1
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Red Flag 1 is offline
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03-19-2010, 12:23
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#4
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Asset
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Fort Benning
Posts: 0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NORMAL550GIRL
"I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised."
There are sooo many people that need this guy's wisdom. Makes me look forward to getting old so I can say whatever the f*ck I want.
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I agree with you 100%.
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“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”~ Bruce Lee
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Jimi3T is offline
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03-19-2010, 12:50
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#5
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 316
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This put a smile on my face
"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."
__________________
“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.”
–Albert Einstein
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spherojon is offline
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03-19-2010, 16:43
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#6
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Georgetown, SC
Posts: 4,204
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Quote:
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"War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker."
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The funny thing about this statement, for me, is that it reminds me of many friends and acquaintances who really WERE "in the shit" in RVN, yet described what they did to others in the way this person's dad did. It made me smile...
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"I took a different route from most and came into Special Forces..." - Col. Nick Rowe
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ZonieDiver is offline
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03-19-2010, 17:48
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#7
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NorCal
Posts: 15,370
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About that APCOD...
Richard
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“Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another)… There are just some kind of men who – who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results.” - To Kill A Mockingbird (Atticus Finch)
“Almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.” - Robert Heinlein
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Richard is offline
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03-19-2010, 18:19
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#8
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NORMAL550GIRL
"I . Makes me look forward to getting old so I can say whatever the f*ck I want.
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I have always said what I want. I just pick my battles.
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03-19-2010, 18:50
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#9
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Castle Rock, CO
Posts: 2,531
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Quote:
Originally Posted by armymom1228
I have always said what I want. I just pick my battles.
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That just ruined a keyboard... 
__________________
""A man must know his destiny. if he does not recognize it, then he is lost. By this I mean, once, twice, or at the very most, three times, fate will reach out and tap a man on the shoulder. if he has the imagination, he will turn around and fate will point out to him what fork in the road he should take, if he has the guts, he will take it.""- GEN George S. Patton
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lksteve is offline
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03-19-2010, 19:21
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#10
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Auxiliary
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Home is in NC, I live in AL currently
Posts: 74
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"Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?...Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it fucks you, huh?”
This man is incredible.
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"and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." Luke 22:36
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MackallResident is offline
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