Four quick Man stories

[Sdiver]

1) I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "Morning...." He said, "Nope. Just taking a shit."

2) When I was a kid, I used to pray to God every night for a new bike. Then I realized, the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.

3) I was walking down the road yesterday and saw my Afghani neighbor, Naji, standing on his third floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Naji, won't it start?"

4) The other day, I went in for my annual checkup. My normal Dr. was out, but he had sent one of his new partners to do my checkup. She was an extremely attractive Doctor. Could have been a swim suit model if she so chooses to. She started the exam, and about half way through, told me, I needed to quit masturbating. I asked why, and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."