How do you deal with it?

LarryW · 10-05-2009, 05:14

Sirs:

As it turned out, I was a cold-war sailor who spent his time being ready to fight, but never haing to. It wasn't skill or cunning, just dumbassed luck. I've been away now for 15 years and miss it.

I can't imagine how hard it is for QP's to sit now and watch the fight and not be in the middle of it. How do you deal with that? Is it easy? Does it ever get easy?

There's a potential for a lot of one-liner replies to the question, if for no other reason than managing the nervous angst that comes from perhaps not knowing the answer.

Thank you in advance for your replies, but more God bless you for your service.

v/r,
LarryW

Blitzzz (RIP) · 10-05-2009, 05:52

Boredom! First find other interests as in old half done hobbies.
Another job in a totally different direction. I went to Physical therapy.
Many of the guys take up teaching, as it is one of our tennents.
some take up security contract work.
But, what ever one does it does not replace the adrenal edge and mental involvement in the "real world".
I retired off of an A Team and there is no way to replace it. From Apex warrior to Joe civilian. Actually it is very hard not to be there as a contributing member.....Blitzzz

Stras · 10-05-2009, 06:02

PT and staying focused on how to support your brothers in the fight.

Sadly, I've been promoted off an ODA and now work in a puzzle palace. yes, I should be happy with my past accomplishments, but i'm not. They are all in the past, and this is the current fight. It kills me to not be in it with my guys.

I'm now in a supporting role in a major headquarters, so I stay focused on how to best support the boys and fight for them on a daily basis to get them what they need. To an extent, I'm still in the fight mentally, but not physically.

Join the Patriot Guard Riders. I did. I swore that NEVER AGAIN will our returning Veterans be treated like they did when they returned from Vietnam.

lots of range time, working shooting fundamentals.. one can never get enough time on the range.

Richard · 10-05-2009, 06:18

What's worked for me:

Because we know ourselves well - pursue new careers/interests which utilize that knowledge.
Remain active (I exercise 4 days/wk, sit on a BSA Troop Committee, travel, and now - retired yet again - still substitute at several local Jr High/High Schools) and enjoy the family for a change.
Continue to learn and improve - formally and through on-going self-education - it's a never ending pursuit.
Stay in touch with old team-mates and friends - the SFA helps - and continue to follow, donate to, and honor the Regiment and those - past and present - who fill its rolls.
Pursue hobbies which are of interest and offer a sense of accomplishment and relaxation - reading, History, Bridge, and the fine arts does that for me.
Remember that the torch has been passed and - although you were once a vital part of its flame - those days are past but will always remain a strong memory of who you once were and still are in heart and mind. Once a Sheep Dog...
Did I say remain active and enjoy the family?

Richard's $.02

Utah Bob · 10-05-2009, 07:44

Time marches on. The old fire dog who hears the sirens may want to hop on the truck but he must be content to bark enthusiastically and stay by the fire.

Be a good citizen, honor the fallen, and support the brothers in harm's way.
Remember that once, you were part of something great and honorable. Every now and then, shed a tear, crack a smile, and raise your glass.

LongWire · 10-05-2009, 11:20

I cant speak for anyone else, but I'm not exactly sitting this one out.........

I'm not here to post numbers, but since the beginning I've clocked over 40 months gone since 9-11.
Those numbers might not compare to a a lot of conventional guys, but I just recently moved to 1st Group where things are different. After spending the last 10 yrs in 5th Group it was never boring.

40 months gone from my kid from the time he was 6 months old to now where he is 8 and about to go on 9. All the while telling everyone that I cant/won't take another job. Taking on more responsibility and having the guys depend on you to be there, when there is whats important.

Easy is being home for the weekend, and maybe hanging out with the wife and kid, throwing some meat on the grill. Easy is easy to justify when you aren't on a 2 way range.

Not having to worry about it, even though you have friends in the fight. One fight at a time......effect what you can in your control, and let go of those things that you cant. War has a funny way of finding you when you least expect it. You can deploy as much as you can and never see anything exciting, even with being off of the FOB's. You can spend a lot of time beating yourself up about what could have/ should have been. Bad days will find you when you don't want them to, and you better hope that you can turn a bad day into a better one from the nanosecond it goes sideways.

Most of us here can attest that we never took the easy way. Easy just is............easy. Life is a work in progress, and most of the time its a struggle.

No one said life was easy, but here we are anyways...........

Thank You for Your Service, and it might feel like it, but I doubt Your sacrifice is any less than mine. Don't beat yourself up over it it will give you a headache.

Fate makes the rules, we just try and bend them!!!!!

Ret10Echo · 10-05-2009, 11:58

Conducting FID within my own borders as a Federal Employee....

Longwire is right....

Quote:

Most of us here can attest that we never took the easy way. Easy just is............easy. Life is a work in progress, and most of the time its a struggle.

1stindoor · 10-21-2009, 11:38

I just saw this thread and felt the need to pipe in. I joined in 86, post Grenada. Finished the Q course in 89 and was in language school, on leave, when we went into Panama. Missed it. Was in 7th during Desert Shield/Storm. Missed it. PCS'd to 3rd when everyone came back. PCS'd to Ft Polk (TDA) six or eight weeks prior to Haiti. Missed it. I was enroute to one stop at Bragg, leaving 7th for SWC at 8:51 on September 11, 2001. Missed a lot of that one. Since coming back to group I deployed once for OEF as a Tm Sgt, and again as a 1SG. I'm now warming a seat in a classroom in El Paso.

I "deal with it" by staying busy with other pursuits, and recognizing that everyone has a mission that has to be done. I appreciate all of those that came before me, peacetime or not. I'm thankful for their service.

Dozer523 · 10-22-2009, 16:26

Some of us are just lucky, and I mean that will total sincerity.
I served in the Cold War Army and watched Peace breakout and was a beneficiary of the Peace Dividend. After 11 years I went out into the civilian world and did that for about ten years. After 9-11 (22 years after I came in -- when few of my original peers were still on active duty) I saw the National Guard needed volunteers. I clicked a pop-up; took a call from a recruiter, let him buy me lunch at McDonald's (Super-size me, Yeah!)
I dealt with it by trying to use all my experience and training (and probably a little acquired maturity) to do the things I love, the way I want to do them. I consider my break in service one of the few miracles I've been granted.

mark46th · 10-22-2009, 20:59

First, I want our guys out there to get as many bad guys as possible. I want them to be as safe as they can be and still get the job done.

For myself, family, friends and the outdoors...

Habu-MFFI 175 · 12-22-2009, 18:31

I miss all the guys and the good times.

A lot of the bad times you try to forget. I do a lot of volunteer work. I help the Wounded Warriors (Marines) in fishing around the coast/Cp. Lejuene and at the Pechmann Fishing Education Center (Army) in Fayetteville. In Fayetteville we do a lot of fly fishing and fly tying.

We use the old Lake Rim fish hatchery ponds. Right now they are full of brown, brook and rainbow trout. Getting ready to start winter fly fishing classes.

I still keep up with some of the older guys and always wish em the best.

Right now a few of us are starting a new fishing deal for the WW's. I'll post as soon as things are finalized, we will need support.

csquare · 12-23-2009, 08:53

- I spend as much time as I can with my girls. The youngest born 3 days before I reitred. My son, who is 16, I missed alot of his early years due to deployments, training and schools. So I'm in catch of mode with him.
- My work has me giving back to young AMEDD officers coming into the military.
- I work to take vacations when I want and where I want.
- And I workout like I'm still in my 30s, though they may be the late 30s, I want to stay fit, active and well maintained. Especially with at least another 10-15 years before young men come around my house wanting to date my daughters. I don't want any confusion as being their father instead of being ask if I'm the grandfather.
- And as my quote says below.......

**The Reaper** · 12-23-2009, 12:53

Saw a good quote yesterday.

Said something along the lines of you never stop being a soldier. You just stop putting on the uniform.

I like it.

TR

greenberetTFS · 12-23-2009, 22:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Utah Bob

Time marches on. The old fire dog who hears the sirens may want to hop on the truck but he must be content to bark enthusiastically and stay by the fire.

Be a good citizen, honor the fallen, and support the brothers in harm's way.
Remember that once, you were part of something great and honorable. Every now and then, shed a tear, crack a smile, and raise your glass.

Very well put UB..........

Especially that first part........

Big Teddy

glebo · 12-24-2009, 09:50

WHen I first retired out of 1/5 in 99, I had a couple of civilian jobs (four yrs worth).

It was the hardest thing to try to meld into, there's NOTHING like working with the caliber of folks ya work with on a team....or other places in the military...for most.

I landed a gig teaching the 18E's for about 4 yrs, that gave me a great sense of accomplishment, at least I felt I was contributing something.

Then, I landed a job working up in tng development, (the 18E's), still doing good, but not like you're departing knowledge and skill/field craft to the guys, and it is quite "staff extensive".

Nothing against our civilians of course, but when you're used to working with the folks you have been.....it's a hard candle to light.

Anyway...my .02 centavos worth.