08-26-2009, 11:38
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 4,530
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Red Skelton Talks About His Happy Marriage
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Her’s is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days, and then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was “Always”.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust."
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Razor is offline
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08-26-2009, 15:09
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#2
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Area Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 2,952
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Red Skelton..a national treasure, IMHO.
RF 1
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Red Flag 1 is offline
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08-26-2009, 15:16
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#3
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,807
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I miss Red, and his show.
We could use another comedian like him today.
TR
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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08-26-2009, 15:21
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#4
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Gold Star Father
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Littleton, Colorado
Posts: 388
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Thanks for posting this Razor! I can hear Red's voice as I read those classic lines! Thanks for the great memories and laughs!!!
molon labe
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Tatonka316 is offline
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08-26-2009, 15:28
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#5
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Georgetown, SC
Posts: 4,204
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I miss the way he signed off on each show with "Goodnight and God Bless."
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"I took a different route from most and came into Special Forces..." - Col. Nick Rowe
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ZonieDiver is offline
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08-26-2009, 16:05
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: OK. Thanking Our Brave Soldiers
Posts: 3,614
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZonieDiver
I miss the way he signed off on each show with "Goodnight and God Bless."
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Hope that America does not forget, sitting on Our Grandpa's knee, and listeing to this folklore!
For myself, it was "Hee-Haw!" Anyone remember that show too? 
Holly
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echoes is offline
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08-28-2009, 15:58
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#7
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 146
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Quote:
Originally Posted by echoes
For myself, it was "Hee-Haw!" Anyone remember that show too?
Holly |
I grew up watching that show, with the family, on the one tv we had. 
Unfortunately, at least for me at the time, that also meant enduring Lawrence Welk 
__________________
Unkown
"A politician sees his family everyday; a deployed soldier once in 6 months or a year. A politician flies 1st class; a soldier flies in a C130. A politician's pension is not reduced; a soldier's is clawed 65%. A politician enjoys an expense account; a soldier must justify extra rations. A politician vows to defend their country; a soldier actually keeps that promise."
"Beware of fake quotes on the Internet." -- Abraham Lincoln.
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