DEA Agent

csquare · 04-03-2009, 06:45

A DEA officer (from the East Coast) goes to inspect a Texas rancher's land.
He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your property for illegally grown drugs.'
The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.' The DEA agent verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the full authority of the Federal Government and President Obama with me.' Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge, the officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish -- on any land I want to! No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand me???' The old rancher nods politely and then goes about his chores. Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the DEA officer running for his life ---- and close behind is the rancher's biggest, meanest bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The officer is clearly terrified. The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.... "Your badge! Show him your fucking badge!!!"

Richard · 04-03-2009, 07:49

LOLOL - I would've only changed the intro to say that the DEA agent was from the Chicago field office and turned it into a morality tale.

Richard's $.02

mcarey · 04-03-2009, 11:36

That is a good one!!!!!

SF_BHT · 04-04-2009, 07:05

Funny, so very Funny

I work with a bunch of Agents just like that.....

aegisnavy · 04-04-2009, 14:34

LMAO. It's funny because it's probably true.

tst43 · 04-04-2009, 18:42

A young couple was driving down a road late one night when the girl decides to do something wild. So she strips off her clothes and starts to crawl into the lap of her very lucky and surprised boyfriend who promptly loses control of the vehicle and crashes. The force of the wreck is so great that the naked girl is thrown from the vehicle and rendered unconscious. The first emergency responder on scene is a highway patrol trooper who notices the unconscious and naked girl. Hearing the sirens of the approaching ambulance, the galant trooper puts his highway patrol hat over the groin area of the girl in an effort to save her dignity.
Upon arrival, the first EMT rushes over to the girl to take an assessment. After doing so, the EMT lifts up the trooper's hat over the girls groin and takes a look. The trooper sees this and now begins to look at the EMT with disbelief. After a few more minutes, the EMT lifts the trroper's hat up again and looks underneath. Now, the trooper is really hot and runs to stop the EMT as he is about to lift the hat for a third time. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!!?", screamed the trooper.
To which the EMT replied, "Just checking,,,,normally you see a prick under one of those hats."

csquare · 04-07-2009, 10:23

x

04-08-2009, 00:51

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.'

The old rancher says, 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there' as he points out the location.

The
DEA officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of
the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pants pocket,
he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this
badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish...on any
land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?
Do you understand?'

The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA
officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize
bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and
it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The
officer is clearly terrified. The old rancher throws down his tools,
runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs......

'Your badge! Show him your badge!'

ZonieDiver · 04-08-2009, 08:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by armymom1228

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.'

The old rancher says, 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there' as he points out the location.

The
DEA officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of
the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pants pocket,
he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this
badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish...on any
land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?
Do you understand?'

The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA
officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize
bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and
it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The
officer is clearly terrified. The old rancher throws down his tools,
runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs......

'Your badge! Show him your badge!'

Wow... a sense of "deja vu" has suddenly swept over me.

Sdiver · 04-08-2009, 08:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZonieDiver

Wow... a sense of "deja vu" has suddenly swept over me.

Could have been a different DEA agent on a different ranch.

ZonieDiver · 04-08-2009, 08:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sdiver

Could have been a different DEA agent on a different ranch.

Sdiver - You're right! First Texas, and now Montana. Something has got to be done, fast. These rogue DEA agents seem to be on a rampage. They must be pumped up with vigor from all the new governmental powers that our current POTUS is 'discovering'! Also notice that these reported abuses of authority are occurring in the so-called "Red States"! Coincidence??? I think not...

greenberetTFS · 04-08-2009, 11:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sdiver

Could have been a different DEA agent on a different ranch.

Sdiver, Your absolutely right it was different agents.

One was in Texas and the other in Montana..........

GB TFS

04-08-2009, 12:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZonieDiver

Wow... a sense of "deja vu" has suddenly swept over me.

Are you admitting to having been chased by a bull after he ignored your 'badge" hahahaha...

reminds of that country song, "stay of of the beans, don't mess with the bull he can get real mean...."

Quote:

Sdiver - You're right! First Texas, and now Montana. Something has got to be done, fast. These rogue DEA agents seem to be on a rampage. They must be pumped up with vigor from all the new governmental powers that our current POTUS is 'discovering'! Also notice that these reported abuses of authority are occurring in the so-called "Red States"! Coincidence??? I think not...

Oh absolutely. In fact I have even heard of a few over the top FBI and local sheriffs who have run afoul of the same bull. Poor bull must be exhausted chasing all those LEO's.

ZonieDiver · 04-08-2009, 12:13

Quote:

Are you admitting to having been chased by a bull after he ignored your 'badge" hahahaha...

Badges, badges?!?!? I don't need no stinking badges!

04-08-2009, 13:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZonieDiver

Badges, badges?!?!? I don't need no stinking badges!

Badge? Why yes, I do believe I see it ...its that one over there..just barely peaking out... the one you are going to have to sneak back in after dark to pry out of that fresh and fragrant cow pie..