Not sure if any of these have been posted, but still worth a good laugh!
Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!
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A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whisky. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!'
Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!'
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Paddy calls Easy Jet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'I don't know! Its your frigging plane!!'
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Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'
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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spread-eagled & says 'You know what I want don't you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
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Q. What's a Catholic priest & a pint of Guinness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your back side if you get a dodgy one!
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Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
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Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'What's his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London!'
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An Irishman is practising rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick idiots like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the life out of you if I could swim!'
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