A Cowboy's Guide to Life

[Richard]

A Cowboy's Guide to Life

by Texas Bix Bender

(may have been lifted from Will Rogers)

· A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle.

· Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

· Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

· Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.

· If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

· Always drink upstream from the herd.

· Don't get mad at somebody who knows more 'n you do. It ain't their fault.

· Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

· Don't let so much reality into your life that there's no room left for dreamin'.

· Don't never interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

· Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

· Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

· Go after life as if it's something that's got to be roped in a hurry before it gets away.

· Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

· If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

· If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

· If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

· It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

· Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

· Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

· Never miss a good chance to shut up.

· Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

· No matter who says what, don't believe it if it don't make sense.

· The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

· The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

· Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

· Trust everybody in the game, but always cut the cards.

· When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

Richard's $.02

[lksteve]

Didn't see "Don't squat with your spurs on..."

[HOLLiS]

Good advice. Thanks.

[JustinW20]

• An old timer's a man who's had a lot of interesting experiences -- some of 'em true.
• There are three kinds of men, the one that learns by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
• Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
• Careful is a naked man climbin' a barbwire fence. 'Course if you're climbin' a barbwire fence naked, it's probably too late for "careful."