For old farts only..........

[greenberetTFS]

Subject: Smile

This should make you smile.

SERENITY
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,

'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.

'Two years older than me'

'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.

She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

'And what do you think is the best thing

About being 104?' the reporter asked.

She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is

You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes

I'm half blind,

Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

Take 40 different medications that

Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia

Have poor circulation;

Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,

I still have my driver's license.I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor's permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises

As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff

In my shopping cart says,

' For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

The eyesight to tell the difference.

Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

GB TFS

[Red Flag 1]

Longevity trumps peer pressure.....never thought to look at it that way!

Thanks BT!!


RF 1

[Dozer523]

Saw the "Benjamin Button" movie last night. It was really good. Highly recommend it. It was like the old movies really long. You have to laugh at the "Did I ever tell you I was struck by lightening seven times" guy.

[Surf n Turf]

Originally Posted by greenberetTFS

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

GreenbaretTFS,
Great Post
That's exactly how I feel -- consider it STOLEN
SnT

[JJ_BPK]

I think I already read this today???

I don't know about the rest of you old farts... me? I still have not figured out what I will be when I grow up. Until then I will pretend to be a nurse and pretend to work back at the VA.. I do it to kill the time ya know.