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Quickies
Economy
I saw a flat bed truck going through town the other day, loaded down with "Port-A-Jons", and on the side of each one it read, "Your Crap is my Bread and butter." It made me feel good to know, that I was doing my part for the economy every moring after I had my Coffee.
Coustomer Service
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over and asked, "Are all of these kids yours?". He replied, "No, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
Turkey Composition
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm Thankful for on Thanksgiving", little Timmy wrote, "I am Thankful I'm NOT a Turkey."
Chance
An old Indian (feather not dot) is standing on a street cornor. A good looking woman passes by on her way to work. The Indian raises his hand in greeting and says "Chance!" The same thing happens several days in a row. The woman walks past and the Indian raises his hand and says "Chance!" Finally, one day she can't ignore it any longer, stops, and asks, "You're an Indian, aren't you?" He nods. She says, "I always thought Indains said "How" as a greeting." The Indian says, "Already know 'How', just want Chance."
Constipation
An elderly man was suffering from constipation, so his Doctor prescribed him some suppositories. A week later the man complained to the Doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been taking them regularly?" asked the Doctor. The old geezer replied, "Of course I have. What do you think I've been doing with them, shoving them up my a**?"
Doctor's Advice
A woman went to her doctor for advice one day. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.
"Do you enjoy it?" the doctor asked.
"Well actually, yes I do." she exclaimed.
"Does it hurt you?" he asked.
"No. I actually like it." she replied.
"Well then." the doctor continued, "There's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care and not get pregnant."
The woman was mystified......."What?!?!? You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
"Of course", the doctor replied, "Where do you think Politicians come from?"
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Non Sibi Sed Suis
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It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!! 
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