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Old 05-20-2008, 08:48   #1
BMT (RIP)
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
Men Strike Back

This is probably as old as I am, no there nothing 2 days older than dirt!!!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me.'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?< FONT face=Arial size=3>
You don 't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
Build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?< /FONT>
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


BMT
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Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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Old 05-20-2008, 08:55   #2
Sdiver
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Location: The Black Hills of SD
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Fellas,
Remember in your wedding vows that part about, "Till Death Do Us Part"......later on you'll realize, you're setting a goal.
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Old 05-20-2008, 12:28   #3
JustinW20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sdiver View Post
Fellas,
Remember in your wedding vows that part about, "Till Death Do Us Part"......later on you'll realize, you're setting a goal.
State Farm pays the winner!
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"A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms. Most self-described "pacifists" are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger. "

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“To do what ought to be done but what would not have been done unless I did it, I thought to be my duty.”

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