Senior Sex

[BMT (RIP)]

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX


Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to
live on!"


------------------------------------------------------------------

LOUD SEX


A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
he lets out this ear splitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"


------------------------------------------------------------------

QUIET SEX

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked
his wife
during a recent lovemaking session,
"How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him and replied, "You're never home!"



------------------------------------------------------------------


CONFOUNDED SEX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was
mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine
could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the
surgery since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small,
$6,500 for "medium, and $14,000 for "large."

The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the
doctor urged him
to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their
options.
The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking
dejected.

"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the d octor.

"She'd rather remodel the kitchen."







------------------------------------------------------------------


WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX


A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their
40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled, "When you die,
I'm getting
you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.' "