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Old 01-23-2008, 08:23   #1
BMT (RIP)
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
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Putting Your Affairs in Order

A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and
said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs
in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. "Well daughter, we women
celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so
well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the
club and have a martini."

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling little less somber. There were
some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of
the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were
celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending
end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
"Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your
friends you were dying of AIDS.

The woman said, "I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father
after I'm gone."
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Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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Old 01-23-2008, 10:21   #2
Goggles Pizano
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Delaware
Posts: 1,425
Now THAT is funny!!!!!
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You ask; What is our policy? I will say; “It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy.” You ask; What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory—victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.-Winston Churchill
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