01-07-2008, 19:46
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#1
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Red State
Posts: 3,774
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Things You Don't Hear Anymore
Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company after while.
Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Aunt Mary in the mail
today.
Quit slamming the screen door when you are on your way out!
Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is
coming up.
Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
Wash your feet before you go to bed, they are nasty from playing outside all
day barefooted.
Why can't you remember to roll up your pant legs? Getting them caught in the
bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is
nothing left to put a patch on.
Don't you go outside with your good school clothes on!
Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new
bottle.
Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a
deposit on another one.
Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to
make it fall if you don't quit!
Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things
from him.
You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help
push it off.
There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.
Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is
getting hot.
You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise.
Don't sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.
If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Don't lose that button; I'll sew it back on after awhile.
Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt
and sweat all under there.
Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!
Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don't have to do that tonight
in the dark.
Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are
almost out of paper out there.
Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.
Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole
Opry comes on.
No! I don't have nine cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money
grows on trees?
Eat those vegetables, they'll make you big and strong like your daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't care how cold it is out there,
dogs just don't come in the house.
Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and
it is all botched up.
Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like that! I'll wash your mouth
out with soap!
It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose
of castor oil tonight.
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you'll get another
one when you get home.
Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
Soak your foot in this pan of coal oil so that bad cut won't get infected.
When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal each turn. Left arm
straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a
right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to
stop.
It is: "Yes Ma'am!" and "No Ma'am!" to me, young man, and don't you forget
it!
Y'all come back now, ya hear!
__________________
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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BMT (RIP) is offline
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01-07-2008, 20:18
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#2
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Fayetteville NC
Posts: 3,533
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Thank you for that bit of missed nostalgia.
Loved every bit of it.
__________________
Hold Hard guys
Rick B.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing it is great on a hamburger but not so great sticking one up your ass.
Author - Richard.
Experience is what you get right after you need it.
Author unknown.
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longrange1947 is offline
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01-07-2008, 23:40
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#3
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: HI
Posts: 242
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What about :
Yes Sir / Ma'am
No Sir / Ma'am
Please
Thank you
I'm sorry
My fault
You made you bed, now sleep in it
Hello
Hello, you have reached the ______ residence, this is _______ speaking...How may I help you?
Can I help?
(General population, not kids raised by good parents)
Big problem I had as a Lieutenant, was learning to answer Yes Sergeant to my Platoon Sergeant instead of Yes Sir. I blame my parents for that fault  I have even been known to slip and call SOGVET "Sir" (I think it just makes him feel old though  )
V/R,
__________________
In Oriente Primus
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Go For Broke is offline
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01-08-2008, 07:04
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#4
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SF Candidate
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 151
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Past: "Fill er Up" with Super Unleaded please!
Present: "Uh, can I get $10 on pump 4 please!
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bricklayer is offline
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01-08-2008, 08:01
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#5
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: OCONUS...again
Posts: 4,702
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You're early for work...
Stay safe.
__________________
“It is better to have sheep led by a lion than lions led by a sheep.”
-DE OPPRESSO LIBER-
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Guy is offline
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01-08-2008, 10:05
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#6
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Guerrilla
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 169
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Sure honey ... whatever you want.
__________________
"The police exist to protect the innocent, not grant latitude to the guilty. One cannot negotiate ... with evil"
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brianksain is offline
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01-08-2008, 11:04
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#7
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 190
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If you wish to become a naturalized citizen, you have to have a working knowledge of English, take classes and be sworn in by a judge.
__________________
"In a man-to-man fight, the winner is he who has one more round in his magazine." Rommel
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SFS0AVN is offline
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01-08-2008, 11:11
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#8
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Asset
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Posts: 40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bricklayer
Past: "Fill er Up" with Super Unleaded please!
Present: "Uh, can I get $10 on pump 4 please!
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Or..."Fill 'er up with Ethyl!"
It's hotter than a $2.00 pistol.
Father knowingly smiled and said "I hope when you grow up you have a little boy...just like you". I did, damn it!
Put your Sunday shoes away. Those aren't for school till next year.
And one I still use when I make a faux pas - "I ain't got no education hardly nohow."
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JAGeorgia is offline
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01-08-2008, 11:53
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#9
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Occupied America....
Posts: 4,740
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"Son, when we stop up here at the traffic light I want you to run inside and get me a six-pack and a pack of Paul-Malls....here's 5 bucks"
My Dad when I was about 8 years old....
__________________
"There are more instances of the abridgment of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations"
James Madison
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Ret10Echo is offline
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01-08-2008, 12:03
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#10
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Auxiliary
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: NorCal
Posts: 80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Go For Broke
Big problem I had as a Lieutenant, was learning to answer Yes Sergeant to my Platoon Sergeant instead of Yes Sir. I blame my parents for that fault  I have even been known to slip and call SOGVET "Sir" (I think it just makes him feel old though  )
V/R,
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Went through the same thing as the non-Catholic kid in Catholic school. Caught hell for saying "Yes, Sir" to the priests when I was supposed to say "Yes, Father." Only made the mistake once in Basic with my Company Commander though...
__________________
"A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms. Most self-described "pacifists" are not pacific; they simply assume false colors. When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger. "
- Robert Heinlein
“To do what ought to be done but what would not have been done unless I did it, I thought to be my duty.”
- Robert Morrision
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JustinW20 is offline
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