Crooked Hat Wearers

Snaquebite · 12-07-2007, 18:28

I mean, it was designed to be worn straight, or if circumstances require, sometimes possibly backwards, so wearing it crooked MUST be cool. Plus, all the cool guys driving in riced out civics with mufflers that go BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA wear it crooked. And they make sure it's just the right amount of crookedness by frequently checking in the rear view mirror and making minor hat angle alterations. Then they look at other cars. See how crooked my hat is? Yeah. That's cool. You, with your hat straight. You're not cool. You're wearing it as it was designed to be worn and is most effective at keeping the sun out of your eyes. You don't know the first thing about cool.

Should two crooked hat wearers happen to cross paths, they will acknowledge each other's coolness with a subtle upward nod. It's essential to take part in this nonverbal communication. Failure to do so all but proves one's uncoolness and can result in being ostracized from the group. But there are far more dynamics involved during this chance encounter. Just as a woman in public with her chosen mate tends to view other women as potential rivals, evaluating their physical appearance in comparison to her own to determine the level of threat, so too will crooked hat wearers critique each other. Is the hat precisely at 45 degrees with a slight downward tilt? If not, is the additional angle intentional or unintentional? If intentional, especially with an upward tilt, this conveys the statement that the wearer is proclaiming his stature as alpha male. He shows more of his face in an open display of dominance. Crooked hat wearers whose hats are at precisely 45 degrees with a downward tilt instinctively treat such alpha males with courtesy and submissiveness. They may discuss their Civic's modifications, but only if the Alpha first broaches the matter.

Straight hat wearers should avoid engaging crooked hat wearers in conversation, even if they drive a Civic too. Fostering dialogue in a gesture of good will is often interpreted as hostile intent by crooked hat wearers. Boisterous verbal exchange will inevitably ensue, accompanied by wild hand gestures whose meaning straight hat wearers cannot interpret.

Join us next time as we examine the developmental inter-group dynamics of wearers of oversized pants without belts. How low is too low?

The answer may surprise some of you...

jwt5 · 12-07-2007, 18:56

Ugh, I can't STAND crooked hat wearers..... I'm glad someone else is with me on this topic.

CosaNostraUSMC · 12-07-2007, 19:59

Funny thing is, it's even crossed over to mainstream America. Many pitchers in MLB are doing the "crooked" cap thing, on the mound. Watch an NFL game, and you're sure to see a sideline player sporting the look, too.

Pops always told me, "if a situation requires you to turn your cap back, just remove it.".

12-07-2007, 23:06

After reading this . . . I have a headache.

**Bill Harsey** · 01-02-2009, 15:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosaNostraUSMC

Funny thing is, it's even crossed over to mainstream America. Many pitchers in MLB are doing the "crooked" cap thing, on the mound. Watch an NFL game, and you're sure to see a sideline player sporting the look, too.

Pops always told me, "if a situation requires you to turn your cap back, just remove it.".

Old thread, I'd either missed or forgotten it.

If your welding it's nice to wear your hat backwards to keep the bright glowing things from sticking to the top of your scalp.

Crooked hats are cool, they are an automatic IQ indicator.

Red Flag 1 · 01-02-2009, 15:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosaNostraUSMC

Funny thing is, it's even crossed over to mainstream America. Many pitchers in MLB are doing the "crooked" cap thing, on the mound. Watch an NFL game, and you're sure to see a sideline player sporting the look, too.

Pops always told me, "if a situation requires you to turn your cap back, just remove it.".

Looking for the day when a football helmet "ear" hole turns into the "eye" hole, with the "face" mask is rotated to "ear" hole duty.

RF 1

**Eagle5US** · 01-02-2009, 16:04

I have looked, and looked, and looked and I just cannot for the life of me find a place that sells those crooked hats. All the ones I put on, the freakin "bill" thingy goes straight out from my face.

I may have found a niche market to open my own hat store here in El Paso though. All these cool guys around here must be buying their crooked hats off the internet or something. Either that or their is a secret society that sells them to select folks.

I feel so left out...<sigh>

Any investors out there interested?

Eagle

**Team Sergeant** · 01-02-2009, 18:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill Harsey

Crooked hats are cool, they are an automatic IQ indicator.

Kinda like the falling down pants wearers, automatic IQ indicators.

x SF med · 01-02-2009, 20:02

And here I thought the bill of the hat was to keep the sun out of my eyes.

And my trousers were supposed to cover my ass.

I was sadly mistaken, I guess...

jbour13 · 01-02-2009, 20:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Team Sergeant

Kinda like the falling down pants wearers, automatic IQ indicators.

Rest assured that when it comes time to run from a badder man, they are left defenseless since said pants are being held by hands.

Around and around we go, when your pants fall, I step for the finishing blow!!

PSM · 01-02-2009, 21:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by x SF med

And here I thought the bill of the hat was to keep the sun out of my eyes.

And my trousers were supposed to cover my ass.

I was sadly mistaken, I guess...

Uh, Doc, looking at your avatar...no bill on the hat and, uh, no trousers.

Pat

SpetsnaZ · 01-02-2009, 21:42

Crooked hats are bad, but wearing a straight brimmed hat is worse!!!
With the crooked hat; it must give them some sense of individuality and sense of their own style.... but the straight brimmed hat; that's the way hats come shipped from the factory to maximize space in the box. So what?.. they just pull it out of the box and slap it on their melons and over their ears it goes? No originality there, at least the Ashton Kutcher crooked trucker hat style takes minimal effort to look bad, and the straight brim hat takes zero effort to look bad!

Oh Snap?!?!? What about straight brim crooked hats? The possibilities seem endless at this point.

Saoirse · 01-03-2009, 13:35

I think they also take their fashion cue from Minnie Pearl, but in the worst possible way.. she was a cute lil thang! Leaving the price tags, stickers, etc still attached to their flat billed, crooked hats to show more in the line of status. And OH... wait, there are prices tags NOW that are made of heavy cardstock or leather, attached to said "below the buttocks wearing pants"! However, IMHO noboby over the age of......(nevermind, there is no age appropriate for this fashion statement) ... should be allowed to wear such items, as it only makes them look pathetic for trying to hang onto their purile ways...time to grow up. And lets not forget when all those fashion items are in CAMO!!! Woohoo, now that really turns on this girlie girl! Nothing like a wannabe "good ol' boy" going completely ghetto. Yummy
Why the fashion world has NOT embraced this, is beyond me .. tsk tsk

swpa19 · 01-03-2009, 14:54

Another IQ indicator (because it came out of the box that way) are these TV and Movie "heroes" that fire a handgun sideways. It goes right along with the straight billed hat (because it too came out of the box thataway).

Seen an episode on COPS the other night, were a bad guy was apprehended because as he was making his speedy (on foot getaway) his drawers got tangle in his ankles allowing the LEO to bag and tag him.

Not a lot of Rhodes Scholars out there.

**Team Sergeant** · 01-03-2009, 16:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by swpa19

Another IQ indicator (because it came out of the box that way) are these TV and Movie "heroes" that fire a handgun sideways. It goes right along with the straight billed hat (because it too came out of the box thataway).

Seen an episode on COPS the other night, were a bad guy was apprehended because as he was making his speedy (on foot getaway) his drawers got tangle in his ankles allowing the LEO to bag and tag him.

Not a lot of Rhodes Scholars out there.

We can only hope this handgun method prevails for the next 100 years with these individuals....