1996 Possum Killing Champion ...

brianksain · 10-23-2007, 16:24

Cop story ... thought I'd share.

Old woman raising her daughter's four crack babies ...

Lived in a half burned out house here in the hood.

Plastic sheet for one wall, holes in the floor ... ghetto.

Possums kept getting in through the holes and eating the un-cleaned food (for weeks) off the stove/sink/table/dishes ...

Possums would run across the kids in the bed when Granny would turn the lights off.

Scared the shiite out of 'em.

Every time they would call 911 ... they'd turn on the lights and the possums would bail out down the hole in the floor.

So I told them next time to leave the lights off.

Got the call ... showed up ... and the biggest possum I'd ever seen (I've seen a lot of possums) was eating rotten, boiled chicken out of a pot on the stove.

ASP batons were new then and I lit him up.

He hissed at me when I cut him a flip off the stove ... rotten chicken water, pan, possum blood ... flying everywhere ...

Little boy hollering ... HIT HIM AGAIN OFFICER!!! HIT HIM AGAIN!!!!!!

Indeed.

Ah where have twenty years gone?

BK ... The Cajun Professional

clapdoc · 10-23-2007, 16:58

We see a lot of the same living places here in Ms. You did not state whether you killed the possum with the first hit. Rats, snakes, possums are all tenants of these dilapidated houses.

How are ya'll recovering from the hurrican?

clapdoc sends.

**Pete** · 10-23-2007, 17:18

OK, you asked for it.

About 1 1/2 years ago, I might have told it here, I was sitting at my desk working about 2 hours after dark. The wife and kids are upstairs near the back of the house - This was before TS's SureFire Light sale cause my 5 D Cell Mag Light figures into the story.

The wife hollers down the stairs that the dogs are up to something and that I had better take a look. So I pick up the 5 Cell and head out the back door. Yeah, the dogs are raisin' all kinds of heck out in the dark corner of the yard. I go over and they are circling something so I put the light on the spot. It was a big fat possum curled up on it's side, tongue all hangin' out.

I shout up to the women folk that is just a possum and I need and extra set of hands. I glance up at the upper windows and all I can see is eight eyeballs looking over window sills at me - no help from that quarter.

So I come back in, dogs still raisin' heck, get a double plastic bag, shovel and head back to the possum still layin' where I last saw him. So here I am, the dogs still nippin' in and out, possum on the ground and I only have two hands to hold the flashlight, bag and shovel while trying to move the possum. "HEY - I CAN USE SOME HELP DOWN HERE" - eight eyeballs continue to peer over the sills. RATS - never will be any help from that quarter.

So after some juggling I get the shovel under the dead possum and start to lift up, HISSSSSSSSS - that critter wiggled of the shovel with a hisss, all snarly and evil eyed. WHAM - I smacked that dude right on top of the head with the shovel. He was layed out flat on the ground. OK, he's dead, went to pick him up again and danged if he didn't sit up and snap at me and wiggle off the shovel again. Man that shovel travelled a good 270 degree arc as I swung it just as hard as I could from waaaaay back, over my head and smack on top of his head. I swear I heard bones crunch.

This time there was no movement as I loaded him into the plastic bag. Since it was Sunday night I took him around to the green rollout for the mornings pickup. Excitment over the eight eyes came down and wanted the full story.

And that should be the end of the story but.........

The next morning I was taking the last bag of trash out to the can and as I lifted the lid the Possum reared up on top of the trash just like Godzilla and started a hissin' and clawin'. I slamed the lid down right quick and hauled the whole mess to the street.

A couple of hours later I heard the garbage truck comming up the street. So I leaned back and looked out my front window to see what was going to happen. The guy rolled my can up to the back of the truck and went to flip the lid up. As he filled the lid up the Possum leaped up and did the Godzilla thing again. The guy launched into the air and I swear he cleared the top of the truck and landed by the front bumper. The driver is looking at him like he's an idiot, while he is pointing at the back of the truck and jabbering.

They go to the back and dump my neighbors can and then try and use shovels and rakes to knock the Possum off the trash in my can but only knock him off into the bottom of the empty can. By this time the driver just kicks over the can, the Possum rolls out into the street with his head all twisted off to one side, the trash truck moves off and I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard.

I never did see that Possum again in my back yard.

brianksain · 10-23-2007, 17:33

lol ...

Possums ... is tuff

brianksain · 10-23-2007, 17:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by clapdoc

How are ya'll recovering from the hurrican?

clapdoc sends.

Rita smoke checked us.

Nothing much for Humberto to tear up.

Most everyone got a new roof ...

But what did make it through RITA ... Humberto got.

Two direct hits in as many years.

Getting old.

I'll stop whining.

Gypsy · 10-23-2007, 18:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete

I have to wipe tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard.

Same here...that was an excellent story!

**The Reaper** · 10-23-2007, 19:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by brianksain

lol ...

Possums ... is tuff

Till you separate the head from the body by at least three feet.

TR

PSM · 10-23-2007, 21:31

Well, my last al Quita was an expert possum hound. The possums, raccoons, and squirrels would walk along the top rail of the fence. Akitas usually don’t bark a warning before pouncing. She would wait until they were in the middle of the fence and then run and jump against it. The fence would go North and the possum would drop to the deck. Game over.

In a little over a month, she killed 4 of her 6 total kills…she was an Ace! (She didn’t fare as well against a skunk, but that’s a whole other story.) Her last kill was the night before I was to go in for hernia surgery. I had to get up early and wanted to get to bed early as well. I sent her down the run and started locking up the house. I went back down to lock up the slider between the deck and my office and saw blood and fur on the walls and a dead possum under my desk. The dog was already upstairs getting a drink of water.

Having gone through this drill before, I knew that Animal Control would pick it up because they wanted to check for diseases before disposing of the body. It was 2245 and the AC office closed at 2300. The guy that showed up was the same one that picked up all the other victims. As he was leaving he asked, “What kind of dog do you have, anyway?”

Pat

**Ambush Master** · 10-23-2007, 21:51

I went out on the Patio looking for Armadillos, that have been plowing up the back yard, (with weapon in hand) and I detected movement to my lower right. Muzzle followed my visual sweep and there was mr. Opossum!!

I popped it, between the running lights, and went back into the house.

About an hour later, I went out to pitch it over the fence, with a shovel, AND IT WAS GONE!!! Puddle of blood was about a foot in diameter!!!

Haven't seen it since, but I AM watching for it!!!!

Those little guys are TOUGH!!!

Later
Martin

dmgedgoods · 10-23-2007, 22:10

#

**Bill Harsey** · 10-24-2007, 09:20

I used to try and pick a "kinder- gentler' caliber to relate to the size of the problem causing critter and not wake up the neighbors.
This hasn't always worked out well. Now it's 12 gauge all the time.

Reading here confirms my thinking.

Snaquebite · 10-24-2007, 09:41

If you get another call, next time give the ole lady this recipe. Maybe she'll quit calling and do her own hunting....

POSSUM STEW

Ingredients:
two cans of tomatoe sauce
three cans of cooked tomatoes
1/2 thickly sliced worthog meat(mainly for flavor)
a big bag of pasta noodles (any redneck kind will do)
salt and pepper
1/2 possum (other 1/2 can be used for breakfast possum-omlettes)

Directions:
Fry bacon in big gramma kettle, over mid. size fire, then fry possum in the grease till golden brown. Take the meat out, then add enough water to pot to fill 2/3 way and then boil noodles. Once cooked add both things of tomatoes to kettle and meat and add enough salt and pepper to old granny's taste. Cook all together for a bout 1 hour simmering over low fire to sautee.
Bone Appa Teet.

Cold Steel · 10-24-2007, 10:23

When I was a young boy I learned the value of ID'ing a target before shooting. I had a old grandfather figure, Putsy (His really name was Max), that would help out with my dad's construction business and take me fishing on the weekends. One Monday Putsy called into the shop to explain that he wouldn't be making it in for a few days. He had been have a problem with a cat or possum getting into the basement and over the weekend he sat by the stairs listening for it. About 1:30 in the morning he had heard something rustle and headed downstairs with his .22 pistol. Pusty located the noise, saw the black shadow, aimed then fired. No movement from the critter but his wife heard him say "Ah shit, cat's don't have stripes!"

Air.177 · 10-24-2007, 12:41

Is there competitive possum killing now? If so, I may have missed my calling and could be forced to compete in the "Talented Amateur" category

Blake

82ndtrooper · 10-24-2007, 13:32

Pete: ROLMFAO

I'm still lauphing from your story !! and I've tears in my eyes just from the way you tell that story.

That's one hard head. He failed to follow simple instructions.