Good Blonde Laugh

SF18C · 07-10-2007, 04:36

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have got a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished ?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box it's a tiger."
He decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in, and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the
table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her
and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able
to assemble all of these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax." Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then ...."
He sighed.
"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box "

Dominus_Potior · 07-10-2007, 04:40

That's classic.
Here's a couple more short ones.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

SF_BHT · 07-10-2007, 08:01

Try out this one:

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.

She carefully steps out of the car and opens the
trunk. Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the
rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men
are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and
backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.

The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde
of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

My car broke down, Officer" says the blonde, calmly.

Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard
pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer...

"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she
replied.

echoes · 07-10-2007, 08:26

LOL!

Never heard those before...now I'm ready for some "Red-head" jokes...

Holly
(currently blonde, and proud of it!)

Gypsy · 07-10-2007, 12:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by echoes

Never heard those before...now I'm ready for some "Red-head" jokes...

Holly
(currently blonde, and proud of it!)

There aren't any.

SF18C · 07-10-2007, 12:11

My wife is a red head...I would never make jokes about red heads. It hurts too much!

Gypsy · 07-10-2007, 12:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by SF18C

My wife is a red head...I would never make jokes about red heads. It hurts too much!

That's why there aren't any.

echoes · 07-10-2007, 13:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gypsy

There aren't any.

Yes but...we blondes have more fun...

or so I'm told???

Holly

cold1 · 07-10-2007, 14:07

A blond, brunette, and redhead were sitting around discussing there pregnancies and what sex of child they were expecting to have.

The brunette stated that she was going to have a little girl. The others asked how she new. "I was on the bottom when we were making love".

The redhead said " well I must be going to have a little boy because I was on top riding him like a cowboy"

The blond burst into uncontrollable sobs. The other two asked what was wrong.

"OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO HAVE A LITTER THEN" screamed the blond.

Dominus_Potior · 07-11-2007, 00:31

There are redhead jokes, they just aren't as funny as blonde jokes. But I'm still ducking for cover on these:

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: A redhead won't accept a three and a half inch (Old Joke)

Q: Why aren't there any more good redhead jokes?
A: Someone told them to a redhead.

Rob

Dominus_Potior · 07-11-2007, 00:35

Okay, I got a couple more jokes.

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend". The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet".
So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money".
The blonde said "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

The Blonde
Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope

Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months
The box said "2 to 4 years"

Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out

When asked what the capital of California was She answered "C"

Baked a turkey for 3 days
Because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125

Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets

Got hurt while raking leaves
She fell out of the tree

Hated M & Ms because they were so hard to peel

Changed the baby's diaper only once a month
Because the label read
Up to 20 pounds

Rob

Gypsy · 07-11-2007, 18:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dominus_Potior

There are redhead jokes, they just aren't as funny as blonde jokes. But I'm still ducking for cover on these:

Q. How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend?
A. She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails

Q. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
A. She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: A redhead won't accept a three and a half inch (Old Joke)

Q: Why aren't there any more good redhead jokes?
A: Someone told them to a redhead.

Rob

**Ambush Master** · 07-11-2007, 19:19

What do you call 6 Blondes talking in a hallway??

A Wind Tunnel!

What do you call it when a Blonde dies her hair Brunette??

Artificial Intellegence!

Later
Martin

Dominus_Potior · 07-12-2007, 01:16

A blonde woman was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Rob

Dominus_Potior · 07-12-2007, 01:33

On the first day of Airborne School, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

Rob - I need a life.