02-12-2007, 13:16
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#1
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 3,045
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First Job
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The
young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the
activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the
workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough,"
more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with
her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave
her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who
suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the
next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the
bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had
come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly
replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new
house next door to us."
"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the
house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."
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"Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing."
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Kyobanim is offline
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02-12-2007, 15:07
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#2
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,831
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I heard the same set up, but it was Little Dirty Johnny at the home building site.
He and his familiy were sitting down to dinner when his Dad asked him what he did that day.
Johnny replied, "Well, I watched some men building a house."
His Dad asked him what he did there.
Johnny told him, "I learned how to hang a door."
So his Dad inquired, curious now, "How do you hang a door?"
Johnny says, "Well, you get your two helpers and you have them hold it up while you say. 'No GD it, move that MF a little more to the left, now lift that SOB up just a hair..."
Johnny's Mother tells him, "Young man, you go outside right now and fetch me a switch!"
Little Dirty Johnny says, "Fuck you lady, you want a switch, get a 'lectrician, I'm a damn carpenter, Local 134, and I'm on my freaking dinner break right now."
TR
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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02-12-2007, 15:13
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#3
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Gun Pilot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Iowa and New Mexico
Posts: 2,143
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Query!
How many union members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventeen!
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT??
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B model gunship pilot 65-66 Soc Trang, Cobra Pilot 68-69-70 Can Tho Life member 101st Airborne Association
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CPTAUSRET is offline
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02-12-2007, 17:23
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#4
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Pinehurst,NC
Posts: 1,091
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We erected a amusement ride locally a while back and the last thing we had to do was put in about a gazillion electric light bulbs. I heard later the electrians were butt hurt because they felt we were encroaching on their work.  I guess there wasn't 17 available anyway.
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Let us conduct ourselves in such a fashion that all nations wish to be our friends and all fear to be our enemies. The Virtues of War - Steven Pressfield
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dennisw is offline
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02-12-2007, 17:31
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Pinehurst,NC
Posts: 1,091
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One last little Johnny joke. Little Johnny(LJ) was in History class. The teacher said whoever got the answers correct to her oral quiz could leave early. Johnny couldn't wait. The teacher asked," Who cut down the cherry tree?" LJ was waving his arms frantically, but the teacher called on Sally. George Washingtion was Sally's answer. Okay said the teacher, Sally you're right and you can leave early. LJ was bent. The next question, Who said give me liberty or give me death. Again LJ was frantically waving his hand, but the teacher called on Mary. Patrick Henry replied Mary. Teacher said, "Correct, Mary you can leave early." Beside himself, LJ cried out,"I wish thoses bitches would keep their mouths shut." Indignantly the teacher yelled," Who said that?" LJ answered,"Bill Clinton, do I get to leave early?"
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Let us conduct ourselves in such a fashion that all nations wish to be our friends and all fear to be our enemies. The Virtues of War - Steven Pressfield
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dennisw is offline
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02-12-2007, 18:30
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#6
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Republic of Columbus
Posts: 806
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
, I'm a damn carpenter, Local 134, and I'm on my freaking dinner break right now."
TR
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No more union members Sir; now it's green cards (for some) and siestas. 
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Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other. - John Adams
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sg1987 is offline
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02-12-2007, 19:12
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#7
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,134
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CPTAUSRET
Query!
How many union members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventeen!
YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT??
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I see you've been to McCormick Place in Chicago... You can't even plug anything into an electrical outlet...it's the Union worker's job! 
LOL GREAT jokes!!
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My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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02-12-2007, 20:05
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#8
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: America, the Beautiful
Posts: 3,193
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Classic. Especially cause my Dad's an electrician.
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Warrior-Mentor is offline
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02-12-2007, 21:56
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#9
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,945
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Back when I was working in the Entertainment Industry, we had to deal with ALL the Unions.
From the Electric brothers, to Grips, the Camera guys, the Writers, Directors and of course the FAGs....errrrrr.....I mean SAG.
But the best, was having to deal with the Teamsters. No project can move, without the Teamsters....and they know it. Of course the jokes are just everywhere with the Teamsters.
Q: How many Teamsters does it take to move a vehicle?
A: 21.....you got a problem with that ???!!!!
Q: Why are there 2 horse's heads, on the Teamsters Logo?
A: Because they wanted to honor the only other animal, besides themselves, that can sleep standing up.
Q: The last thing Jesus Christ said to a Teamster boss 2000 years ago???
A: "Don't do anything, till I get back."
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