What will make us fly airplanes more

[MtnGoat]

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!

What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we
could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances a nd "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

[SF18C]

So, I take it working nights gives you pleanty of time to "think" about the problems in this world or about strippers!

[Rumblyguts]

Heh,

Just think about the morale boost for a return flight from deployment on a charter!

Erm, maybe that'd be a bad idea. Too many love-starved joes.....

[PSM]

You'd have to lock the pilots in the cockpit.

Pat

[SF18C]

That reminds me of a story:

The Air Force cargo aircraft pushed back from the gate, the loadmistress gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your Aircraft Commander, Major Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

Army Sgt. Looper, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the Major a woman? " When the cargo crew came by, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the Major a woman?"


"Yes," said the crew member, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Sgt. Looper, "I'd better have a tranquilizer. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing Sarge," she said, "We no longer call it the cockpit."
"It's the Box Office."

[PSM]

Originally Posted by SF18C

That reminds me of a story:

The Air Force cargo aircraft pushed back from the gate, the loadmistress gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your Aircraft Commander, Major Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

Army Sgt. Looper, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the Major a woman? " When the cargo crew came by, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the Major a woman?"


"Yes," said the crew member, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Sgt. Looper, "I'd better have a tranquilizer. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing Sarge," she said, "We no longer call it the cockpit."
"It's the Box Office."

Was it this crew?

Pat

[Sdiver]

Originally Posted by SF18C

That reminds me of a story:

The Air Force cargo aircraft pushed back from the gate, the loadmistress gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your Aircraft Commander, Major Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

Army Sgt. Looper, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the Major a woman? " When the cargo crew came by, he said "Did I understand you right? Is the Major a woman?"


"Yes," said the crew member, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Sgt. Looper, "I'd better have a tranquilizer. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing Sarge," she said, "We no longer call it the cockpit."
"It's the Box Office."

Bwahahahahahaha....

Although, I'd hate to be on that AC during that "time of the month", they'd ALL be cycling at the same time.