A quick question...

[thomas1984]

Hi

I have searched the boards for an answer to this question and didnt find one, or missed it, and so I was hoping to get an answer or a way to get an answer from someone who might know.

I am currently an active duty 11b in Iraq. However, apporximatly 2 years ago when I entered the Army I came in as an 18x. As much as it pains me to admit this, especially here, I quit in my second time through SOPC. I quit because my wife was no longer behind my descion to try to enter the pipeline. Regardless, I quit, and it has been a source of...shame ever since. It hangs over my head and I always wonder what could have been.

However, I've been married longer now and my wife is more used to Army and to me being gone and the situation has changed. Im wondering If I can go to SFAS now, or if that VW in SOPC was a life long choice. I'm hoping someone here knows or can steer me in the right direction.

Thanks for your time and your help.

thomas1984

[Jack Moroney (RIP)]

Originally Posted by thomas1984

I quit because my wife was no longer behind my descion to try to enter the pipeline.

However, I've been married longer now and my wife is more used to Army and to me being gone and the situation has changed. thomas1984

I cannot answer your question, but I do understand your situation and I have seen it a lot. I have seen many careers ruined and/or marriages trashed because folks just did not understand what the demands were going to be nor did the family understand that this was not just a "job" but a commitment. Wives will never fully grasp the fact that your team is actually your family and your wife and kids are the folks with whom you spend time when you have time available to devote to them. If, in fact, your reason for dropping out the first time was due to your priorities about family before SF then you really need to evaluate what has changed. SF is not just about absence from your family it is about an all consuming commitment to mission which will require "off time" focus of energy, time, and personal resources to be fully capable of fullfilling your expected role as a SF troop. It is a lot different than what you are used to right now where there is no problem devoting your full focus while you are in the sandbox. Your wife and family are going to expect that you devote what they think is necessary to meet their needs when you are not deployed unless they, and you, fully understand what this commitment is all about. They are also going to wonder why, when the conventional famlies living next door have "quality time" why you do not. Handling absence because you are deployed is a lot easier to take by the spouse and kids than absence because you are in the team room or off somewhere locally honing your erodable skills. So if you are really sure that you and your wife are ready for this-go for it. If not, don't kid yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong pursuing a conventional military profession where you actually can expect to use all your alloted leave, take the four day holidays everyone else does, and adhere to a unit training schedule that is locked in concrete rather than in jello. Now, I am not saying that it cannot be done-it sure can and has been. But you and your family have to fully understand what this is all about and what is going to be required not just of you but also from them. I know that is not what you wanted to hear, but that is just the way it is.

[NSDQ]

Originally Posted by Jack Moroney

I cannot answer your question, but I do understand your situation and I have seen it a lot. I have seen many careers ruined and/or marriages trashed because folks just did not understand what the demands were going to be nor did the family understand that this was not just a "job" but a commitment. Wives will never fully grasp the fact that your team is actually your family and your wife and kids are the folks with whom you spend time when you have time available to devote to them. If, in fact, your reason for dropping out the first time was due to your priorities about family before SF then you really need to evaluate what has changed. SF is not just about absence from your family it is about an all consuming commitment to mission which will require "off time" focus of energy, time, and personal resources to be fully capable of fullfilling your expected role as a SF troop. It is a lot different than what you are used to right now where there is no problem devoting your full focus while you are in the sandbox. Your wife and family are going to expect that you devote what they think is necessary to meet their needs when you are not deployed unless they, and you, fully understand what this commitment is all about. They are also going to wonder why, when the conventional famlies living next door have "quality time" why you do not. Handling absence because you are deployed is a lot easier to take by the spouse and kids than absence because you are in the team room or off somewhere locally honing your erodable skills. So if you are really sure that you and your wife are ready for this-go for it. If not, don't kid yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong pursuing a conventional military profession where you actually can expect to use all your alloted leave, take the four day holidays everyone else does, and adhere to a unit training schedule that is locked in concrete rather than in jello. Now, I am not saying that it cannot be done-it sure can and has been. But you and your family have to fully understand what this is all about and what is going to be required not just of you but also from them. I know that is not what you wanted to hear, but that is just the way it is.

Sir, If a may say, Thank you for your no BS straightforward reply to thomas1984. Some of the things I have respected about QP's over the years, I have had the privilege of supporting them, is the fact that they are straightforward,mission focused,get it done whatever it takes type of individuals. I think what the core of the QP's & moderators are doing in this forum is outstanding. Even in your retirement you still continue to serve the community. Thank You Col.
thomas1984....Words of wisdom from Col is valuable & priceless. Best to you.

NSDQ