08-17-2006, 07:25
|
#1
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 3,045
|
Technical Support
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time
I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back! .
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
== =============
Customer: Can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
======== =======
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P" .....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
__________________
"Are you listening or just waiting to talk?"
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
"Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing."
Optimus Prime
|
|
Kyobanim is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 14:22
|
#2
|
|
Asset
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Temple, TX
Posts: 3
|
Those are pretty good. Being in Tech Support, I can relate to some of those. You better believe there are folks out there who act that way. 
|
|
Dark Knight is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 16:40
|
#3
|
|
Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,134
|
I think these are blonde jokes in disguise. Funny!
__________________
My Heroes wear camouflage.
|
|
Gypsy is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 16:42
|
#4
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
|
Proof that oxygen thieves really do exist!!
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
|
|
x SF med is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 16:53
|
#5
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
|
How's this?
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
|
|
NousDefionsDoc is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 16:55
|
#6
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
|
ROFLMAO! touche NDD.
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
|
|
x SF med is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 17:15
|
#7
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 3,045
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by NousDefionsDoc
How's this?
|
::running away as fast as I can::
__________________
"Are you listening or just waiting to talk?"
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
"Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing."
Optimus Prime
|
|
Kyobanim is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 17:25
|
#8
|
|
Auxiliary
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 74
|
Ha! I knew a guy who used to work on a large IT helpdesk. They refered to those types of calls as "ID10T errors".
|
|
jfhiller is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 17:35
|
#9
|
|
Area Commander
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,403
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by jfhiller
Ha! I knew a guy who used to work on a large IT helpdesk. They refered to those types of calls as "ID10T errors".
|
We log these as "PBKAS": Problem Between Keyboard And Seat.
|
|
mugwump is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 18:27
|
#10
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: In transit somewhere
Posts: 4,044
|
IBKB errors - idiot behind keyboard
__________________
In the business of war, there is no invariable stategic advantage (shih) which can be relied upon at all times.
Sun-Tzu, "The Art of Warfare"
Hearing, I forget. Seeing, I remember. Writing (doing), I understand. Chinese Proverb
Too many people are looking for a magic bullet. As always, shot placement is the key. ~TR
|
|
x SF med is offline
|
|
|
08-17-2006, 21:55
|
#11
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vermont
Posts: 342
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by NousDefionsDoc
How's this?
|
Well yours is wearing too much makeup, but mine is kind of cute.
|
|
Cincinnatus is offline
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 21:46.
|
|
|
Linear Mode
