05-05-2006, 10:41
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#1
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,841
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Women
These were e-mailed to me. I'm hopefully only posting things that haven't been here before.
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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05-05-2006, 10:41
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#2
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,841
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Second is for the 18Cs:
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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05-05-2006, 10:42
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#3
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Consigliere
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland (at last)
Posts: 8,841
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and one more, not as funny IMO, but still good:
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Roguish Lawyer is offline
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05-05-2006, 10:51
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#4
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Area Commander
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Delaware
Posts: 1,425
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Actually I thought the third was just as good as the others. Of course being married I don't worry about the amount of shopping time spent-I just give her the size and wait until my order returns! 
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Goggles Pizano is offline
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05-05-2006, 20:22
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#5
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Roguish Lawyer
First one is some math
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Okay....in the first equation, the 4th step indicated.....
4) "Money is the root of all problems."
I had always thought that....
"Money was the root of all EVIL."
"Therefore.....Women = Evil"
Wouldn't this make more sense...
I .  
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Sdiver is offline
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05-05-2006, 20:29
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#6
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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Here's another one.....
The Remote Control
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Sdiver is offline
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05-05-2006, 20:31
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#7
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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The Button Pusher
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Non Sibi Sed Suis
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It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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05-05-2006, 21:35
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#8
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Asset
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 37
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Sdiver
Here's another one.....
The Remote Control
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I can never find the remote so I have to go at it manually. When I do find the remote the batteries are being used elsewhere.  
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It's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission...however the path to least resistance leads to crooked rivers and crooked men.
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Croooz is offline
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05-06-2006, 08:24
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#9
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Area Commander
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,134
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I think ya'll need one of these.
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My Heroes wear camouflage.
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Gypsy is offline
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05-08-2006, 13:17
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#10
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Asset
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 7
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The Good Wife's Guide
This is a scan from an Housekeeping Monthly, 1955. Hope it is still legible.
Those were the good 'ol days.
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RynoMc is offline
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05-08-2006, 13:26
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#11
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Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Free Pineland
Posts: 24,825
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by RynoMc
This is a scan from an Housekeeping Monthly, 1955. Hope it is still legible.
Those were the good 'ol days.
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Yeah, I was shocked, but intrigued by the third bullet on the left.
I didn't know they did that back then.
TR
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - President Theodore Roosevelt, 1910
De Oppresso Liber 01/20/2025
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The Reaper is offline
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05-08-2006, 13:44
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#12
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Asset
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 7
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by The Reaper
I didn't know they did that back then.
TR |
It was before the FemiNazi Revolution, when it was kept undergound. They didn't use to drive around with rainbows on their bumpers.
Kept it covert.
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RynoMc is offline
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05-08-2006, 20:59
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#13
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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That should be reprinted and distributed once a week to EVERY woman in the country.
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Non Sibi Sed Suis
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Sdiver is offline
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05-08-2006, 22:15
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#14
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Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
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How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Non Sibi Sed Suis
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It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
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Sdiver is offline
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05-08-2006, 22:27
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#15
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Guerrilla Chief
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Idaho
Posts: 819
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I haven't talked to my wife in three years. Haven't been able to get a word in edgewise.
--Aric
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DPRK should be next...
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